Out Of My Tree

There is an endless void of something or another in me at the moment. Actually that can’t be true - you can’t have a void of ’something’. You can only have a void of nothing… Hang on…

HI!

So today was kind of annoying… no not annoying… something else entirely. Odd. I started with a little blood test - it’s becoming easier to get blood out of me! Does this mean I am in some way getting healthier? Does this mean I have… (dare I say it? I dare, I dare) a reason to have hope? Ooo… chills.

Followed that up with a few hours of work in which I wanted badly to throw up but didn’t, and then… mmm… lost five minutes when I went to sleep in the middle of typing a sentence. Yeah, fun baby!

My plan to go to sleep when I got home went south again and I did some good ol’ charity work - felt vaguely smug for a moment… and then realise I was wide awake again - this will now be the 6th night that I have had no desire to sleep.

Oh yes… desire… the title of this post. My desire for things is rising. My desire for life and simplicity and all that good stuff is rising. It is scaring the ever living crap out of me and making me a little ‘crazy girl rocking in the corner’ but I’ll get over that soon and accept things may be improving.

This last bit of the post is all akaMonty ’s fault. I was joking about posting about toast and then… I started thinking about toast and then… I had to have toast.

Hot toast.

Hot buttered toast.

With strawberry jam.

Dripping… with butter…

BUT. NO butter, NO strawberry jam and NO good bread.

I hate the day before shopping day.

What a terrible way to end this post.

Actually, my left eye feels tired. I may just have to see if I can get the right one to follow suit.

written by bec \\ tags: hot buttered toast, sleep

Sorry.

I know.  I know

But it was literally too tiring for me today to type even the most basic of posts.

I have woken up long enough to do this and my head is barely leaving the pillow.

Yes, I will phone the doctor in the morning.  I promise.  And i will try to write the best post ever tomorrow to make up for this.

I love you all.

written by bec \\ tags: apologies, Apology, sleep, Sorry, tired

I didn’t sleep last night… and all day I’ve been throwing caffeine and sugar down my throat to stay awake while at work.

And now I am having the crash.

So I am going to bed, listening to this.

That’s the kind of day I’m having. Sleep will cure all ills.

written by bec \\ tags: Apology, Radiohead, sleep