Today was an absolutely pathetic day for me. I went to the doctor’s and have had my blood pressure medication doubled. W have to wait and see what this will do to my ‘mood’ before anything else can be added into the mix. So I am going to have to try and raise my mood some other way. I have been recommended Dong Quai and am giving it a go - it’s all worth a try! Am just going to accept the early morning blues and just take it as further proof that I really am not a morning person.

Anyway - this is the Writer’s Island post I have been blathering on about for a while. It’s a once a week flexing of the writing muscles triggered by a prompt. This week’s is The Return .

***

“We are experiencing technical difficulties. Mainline Trains is sorry for this inconvenience and thanks you for your patience.”

The forced cheery recorded voice did nothing to raise anyone’s spirits and the groans and mutterings only served to increase the air of desperation and despair in the carriage. The train manager rushed through - not looking panicked, but walking in such a way to convey an air of importance and urgency that no one confronted him this time. This felt like more than just leaves on the line or a shorted fuse.

Not that it mattered how long the journey took, it was getting there that counted. Two more stops. Two more planned stops before reaching the beginning and end. If only she could get the butterflies in her stomach under control. It was ridiculous feeling this way. Nothing was going to happen. She would get to the station, have a coffee, wait for her train back and leave. It was just as well she liked trains. Two changes, three hours and spending time with a lot of impatient strangers for a complete waste of time. There was no way she was going to achieve her objective.

If the train ever starts up again she would get off at the next stop and have a wander around. See somewhere she had never seen before - a bit of an adventure of cheer herself up and help forget this foolishness. As soon as the idea settled in her head she felt an immeasurable sadness overtake her. A sense of lesson not learnt bubbled in the void she had never filled because it didn’t exist to anyone but her.

She thought about what had started this as she sipped the Jack and Coke she had nostalgically bought earlier. It was starting to go warm which didn’t help stem the overwhelming flood of memories fueled by the list of reminders of sweet pain and drama. The letter that had fallen out of an old book, a photograph found, an old song on the radio, a man wearing his coat and then the damn news reports showing the same video over and over and over, Every item and repeat a body blow until she could barely stand.

She had tried writing it out but the words wouldn’t come, her old trick of singing it out but her voice was cracked and emotionless. She tried drinking but the alcohol just opened new holes in her head that apparently could not be closed again. Therapy had been tried many years before but she hadn’t been ready then and she still didn’t feel ready now. She was too tired to deal with all this in anyway but this. A grand and unforgettable act that would hopefully fly past the world’s nose unnoticed.

Fly past the world… Fly past the world… Fly past the world… And try not to think about the way things always end up. Ended up. Things will be different from now on, luck will change. Just so long as the train got to the station where she had spent so many of her happiest moments. Where she left her happiest moments.

It was ridiculous to think that by returning to the place where her dreams died she would find them again - like they would be floating in the ether waiting to pop back in and live again. She smiled as she remembered every nightmare of the last few years and how they would end with her full of light and warmth.

She just had to hold on a little longer and get there.

An update for those following my medical nightmare annoyances - I am now taking pills (prescribed by the doctor I like and trust) to try and bring down my blood pressure. The side effects on the leaflet are numerous -some scary, some just horrifying. And on day 2 I have had three of them. But I am soldiering on as apparently it will all get better. Hmmm.

A friend of mine was talking about his total inability to move a conversation from ‘normal’ to ‘can I have your phone number?’ with any woman that he takes a shine to. He is terrified of falling into the ‘friend zone’ again. He asked me if I had any suggestions on how to segue from one to the other. Being as rubbish as, well, he is I had nothing - anyone out there want to offer suggestions?

The sun was out again today which is weird. I mean not weird weird but… it’s Spring and the sun is out… and I checked I am still in England. (I’m scared)

I swear… probably… that I am going to write a real (that is one not based on a meme and has required real, y’know, effort to do) GBBMC08 post tomorrow. I do feel quite bad at the way I have not kept up with this.

In other CRAZY news, if you live in the US; are between 16 and 22; want to bop to the top and want to make the world a "special" place then you can apply to be part of a brand new show for the summer. That’s right fun lover’s - you can bet on it that we’re all in this together when High School Musical: Summer Session hits your screens for the start of something new this Summer on ABC! It’s going to be fabulous. Cough.

Last, but not least - have you seen the cards on Blogography . How does Dave do it? Every year better and better - it really is only a matter of time before he takes over the world! Put your credit cards on the starting line. Shop will open soon!