I have just woken up and the world has gone dark and nothing has happened except I watched a few movies and rubbed my aching back and wondered why my kidneys hurt so bloody much and couldn’t breathe earlier and Mum scared me by talking about taking me to hospital and I swear to God the first thought that came to my mind was not the usual I’ll never get out of their alive but instead was how will I post from in there which has got to be a positive if not slightly nutty step and I realised that I haven’t done my Writer’s Island post today or done part 2 of last weeks but that’s mostly because I am a little bit hopeless at the moment so okay I need to go back to sleep now as it’s just too painful being awake.
I took the day off work today. I had to. Well, how can you go to work when lifting your arms is a real struggle? To say I spent the whole day asleep would be an over exaggeration but except for a 10 minute period at around 3 and when I woke a couple of hours ago - yep, pretty much the whole day.
Now, of course, I cannot sleep which means I will be knackered tomorrow - but knackered I can cope with, tired is a state of normalcy at the moment - whatever today brought me was not ‘tired’, was not ‘knackered’… today felt like my body hated me and wanted to let me know that fact.
So, I got nothing done today and I had such big high hope type plans to get writing done and Scout palaver and all the usual nonsense.
Instead what I did was play around with Zazzle… Here is the result of that…
Other than that I’m just going to do that meme that’s floating around. Stolen blatantly from Karl and Avi.
Who are you?
A weird and strange creature known as an English geek girl
What’s your Philosophy?
Anything for a quiet life
First thoughts in the morning…
Why does everything hurt? Where’s my coffee?
Your current mood is…?
Slipping into horrible blues
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Blogging about the film that I wrote has hit Number 1 in the charts. Obviously.
Define….
Life-
A journey and a destination
Love-
Is a doing word.
Success -
Knowing that you have done all that you can
Happiness-
The end of the struggle
Death-
The end and the beginning.
Fear-
The warning in your soul
What are your views on
Abortion
Funnily enough I’m with Karl on this - both parties should have a say and it should not be a decision taken lightly but it should be an option available to all.
Why poverty exists? Because there will always be the ‘haves’ and the ‘have nots’.
The U.N-
A nice idea.
Wars- (by wars I mean wars in general)-
Giant pissing contests by those who can’t see past the end of their nose.
Suicide-
Selfish, but sometimes the only way to end the pain.
Your Faves…
Author-
Douglas Coupland
Book-
"Prozac Nation" - Elizabeth Wurtzel
Music Lyric-
"There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you."
Quote about life–
"If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn’t brood. I’d type a little faster." - Isaac Asimov
Curse Word-
fuck
Movie-
When Harry Met Sally or Ghostbusters
Movie quote-
"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - WHMS
Final Random Thoughts…..
What would be the best job in the world?
Screenwriter
And the worst job would be?
Police Officer
What is your biggest accomplishment to date?
Getting poetry published
What do you wish to accomplish in the next 5 years?
Finishing my book, my script and my dry spell.
If you die tomorrow…
Who will speak at your funeral?
Me, through a podcast I’d record earlier.
What would you like your eulogy to say?
She tried her hardest but even she couldn’t run away from the big beastie.
How would you hope to leave this world?
(Damn you Karl for pinching my first answer) Quietly with no pain.
Would you tell anyone you were going to die?
Yes. Comment whore right to the end.
If you wrote a final letter to be read at your funeral what would it say…
I did write one before and it was full of ‘it’ll all be okay’, ‘the sun always rises and sets and I’ll be watching over you’ - crap like that. I’ll do it better next time.
Upon arriving at the pearly gates..what would God say to you?
Kettle’s on.
And finally..Your famous last words?
Of course I can help you move your piano.
What does the word for “Dots” look like in braille?
I have no idea but you can look it up here
What is a quick way to start a conversation?
Nice weather we’re having. (I’m English remember)
And a quick way to end one?
I voted for the BNP
Last words?
Sleep required but I’m not going to get it. Sigh.
So last night I was awake and rubbing my cat’s chest while keeping her warm. She has a chest infection which at her age is really serious. She has been panting like (she won’t like me saying this, but) a dog for the last couple of days and last night she was panting so hard I though she was going to do herself an injury. She hasn’t eaten anything in about two days which, for my furry dustbin, is extremely unusual. Add that to the fact that she has been shivering and her body temperature has dropped so much even her tongue has been cold and it all adds up to a scary scary time.
Last night, instead of sleeping, I sat up with her and helped her breathe with the aforementioned chest rubbing, and lots of praying.
There has been a lot of extremely worried tears from me this weekend, lots of distracting myself and lots of denial… but something worked, because at about 5:30 this morning the panting stopped and a purr came out. And then she licked my fingers… and then she wobbled out of my arms to her food bowl and ate something.
I have never been so relieved in all my life.
And now I am playing the distraction game again and going to bed early to stop thinking about tomorrow. I know I’m panicking over nothing. It’s going to be fine.
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