The news that Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, has died has made me think about things I haven’t in a long time.
A few years ago, when I was going through a massive bout of depression, living hour to hour was the most I could do and a group of crazy but wonderful people took me in to their lives and helped me out.
I was a mess. I trusted no one and nothing, including and especially myself. I did some things I wasn’t proud of and, well, let’s just say I didn’t like myself very much. I was hiding myself from the world so being introduced to lots of new people was hard… and easy at the same time. It was hard as I felt like I had to hide myself, and easy because I could hide myself and become a new person (Yes, we all know how well that goes - but I thought I’d give it a go!)
When I was told that this new group of people role-played I’ll admit a little apprehension… visions of… well, I had no idea… but certainly not books and dice and character sheets with hundreds of numbers on that indicated how good your character was at ‘bluffing’ and ‘hiding’ and ’swimming’ and everything else… And then MORE numbers on the front with armour ratings and weapons and things. Books filled with spells and more statistics. It just seemed like the complicated version of Top Trumps ever.
But then, watching these people become their characters was astounding. The quiet ones became confident assassins and the burly males became women. It was fascinating. My character - a psychotic sorcerer child - was introduced and I kind of just went with it. I had no idea what I was doing with the dice and tried to avoid using the numbers as much as possible. I was there for the story. It was like a mad Improv Drama class and I loved it while it lasted.
I have been writing the tales of my character (broken free of the bonds of the game) on and off for years but it may be time to really get down and write them. I think that was one of the reasons I enjoyed playing the game so much - not the battles and the ‘levelling’ but the loss of self in the character. That’s the thing I enjoy about writing fiction so much and one thing I must get back into doing.
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