So, went to the hospital today for my chest x-ray and it was… a chest x-ray. Lots of sitting around and then a frantic bit of movement. and then more sitting around.
Today I discovered that blue really isn’t my colour. The nurse showed me into a small changing cubicle complete with a mirror (why would you have a mirror? Must make my hair look good for the x-ray?). The gown they had me put on was a baby blue, split up the back, affair; which I wanted to have dyed a better colour. It was kind of funny though, all of us sitting in a row waiting to be x-rayed. One of the other women made a joke about it being embarrassing that we were all wearing the same thing. She was the only other person there who didn’t look like they were about to drop off their log, and I’d guess her age at about 70. I was the youngest person there by easily 40 years. And everyone else except us two was male. There were tubes hanging from places that tubes shouldn’t go and wheezing like you’ve never heard. I wanted to run screaming from the place - ‘I am not this sick! I am in the wrong department!’ but then realised I’d probably get to the end of the corridor before passing out.
They called my name and I went into the x-ray room, where a nurse told me to stand with my back to the room, hands on my hips… and then she told me to press my boobs into the back board. A little more, really press in, I was leaning forwards so far I thought I was going to topple over… had the back board moved I would have been on my face.
I was not enjoying myself… and my boobs felt weird.
‘If you can just breathe in for me now’.
Breasts flat against a board, sore throat, snot blocking my nose and now she wants me to fill my lungs?! Crazy much?! I did my best and I got a ‘tut’ and then a ‘Hold your breath now’. How long for? was all I could think - I hadn’t got a lot of air in there and the last thing I’d want to do is have to come back for another go!
A moment later, the weird buzzing noise that always comes with sci-fi lasers warming up filled the room and I waited to be vaporised. Instead, I got the voice coming back at me, ‘That’s fine, wait outside’.
Back to more chairs and a few moments later a nurse come out telling me to contact my GP in 7-10 days. Appointment already made for 26th March - the earliest one I can get. Medical crap to be adjourned until then.
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