So I did it again - well, not exactly the same thing but there was deletion involved - well, shutting down of Firefox and some swearing.  But at least I remember what I was writing about.

Alanis Morissette.

I know what a lot of people think of her - whiney, needs to get a life, angry for no reason, melodramatic drama queen, crap - but I dispute all those things.

There is very rarely that I follow a musician through without losing faith.  Even my favourite band of all time (Embrace) has wobbled in my affections recently.

But Alanis has always been a love of mine.

From Jagged Little Pill through to So Called Chaos she has led me up and down the path of her own emotional journey… each time me doing the nodding dog as I agree with her lyrics and absorb the songs into my ‘trigger’ list.  Each of these songs are, to me, like therapy sessions allowing me to either remember the way out, or allowing me to drown in the emotion… to really feel something.

If I want to remember the happiness of falling in love it’s Head Over Heels

Trying to find peace within myself - That I Would Be Good

Looking for approval and not finding it  - Your Congratulations

Being dizzy with excitment  - So Pure

Avoiding the pain of seeing that which I cannot have - Flinch

Trying to let go - This Grudge

And every other song she has done will pull my heart strings in one direction or another.

So when it was anounced that she was releasing another album I became simultaneously ridiculously excited and terrified that she would not be able to help me during my current emotional crisis.

So, a quick upload to my iPod and then I became afraid of listening.  Could I handle the disappointment?

So, I tuned in with bated breath and…

Thank God.  She still knows what is in my head and in my heart.

The song Torch has… made me begin to believe that maybe I can stop holding the torch I have in my heart one day… and Straitjacket.  Oh Straitjacket… I know that feeling… that feeling of utter helpessness and wanting to scream in the face of a multi-faced brick wall… each song a triumph in it’s own way.  I can’t wait any longer.  I have to play it again.