Just not feeling it today.

You know what I mean.

It.

Am feeling quite a bit of ‘meh’ and a tiny bit of ‘pleurgh’ but not it - the spark, the drive, the get up or the go.

Yeah, the NaNoWriMo writing is going very well, how did you guess. I am so very glad I am skipping off next week. The camel’s back will be well and truly un-mended then!

I now have two (mad) volunteers for next week - Martin ‘I used to go to school with him and I can’t believe he blogs too’ from Benign Intervention and the quite frankly delicious Blondefabulous from Blondefabulocity, They both have free reign here on Monday and Wednesday (still looking (hint hint) for volunteers for Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday… Yes, I know I left it late)

I was making my list of things to pack (yes I make a list… doesn’t mean I won’t still be shoving things in the top of the bag as I run out of here) and realised that there are getting to be more and more gadgety things… just thought of another two (phone charger and camera usb cable). Pretty much one entire bag is going to be full of these things - and then the horror of what to take.

The whole break is pretty much a relaxation thing with the occasional romp through some of the most beautiful and wild countryside in the UK so the emphasis really is on being ‘warm’ and comfortable… but where we are staying is also quite smart so warm and comfortable has to fit in the bag with ’smart’ and ‘casual’ which doesn’t work overly well when trying to fit everything in a bag that you can carry comfortably.

I really should have a manservant to do all of this for me.

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First the story.

My mother, in her ongoing quest to use the things we have given her over the years decided she wants to put more, and different, music on her iPod.  She asked me for my CD collection, which has been in storage in the garage since I moved back over a year ago.  So, today I donned coat and my own Ipod and wandered into the place where spiders live.

My stuff is near the back of said garage and so lots of ‘useful’ things like my brother’s two bikes, petrol strimmer, lawnmower and a whole mess of garden furniture has to moved first.  As well as a (why the hell do we own that?) box moving hand truck thing.  I was lifting the bright yellow never been used hand truck over a box on the floor and knocked against something hard.

About two seconds later I noticed that there was a set of ladders on the floor that hadn’t been there before; and then my middle left finger started throbbing.  It has a weird lump in it now (which doesn’t translate onto a photo - it just looks like a short stubby finger or like I’m giving the world ‘the bird’.) and has gone a weird shade of blue.

The good thing?  Mum guilt.

And now the audience participation part.

I need help filling in next week’s posts.  I am away from a definite internet connection for 5 days - Sunday 23rd through to Friday 28th.  I might be able to get online for brief periods during those five days but who the hell knows.  I’ll be in an area which even Google acknowledges is in the middle of nowhere.  Hopefully I will be able to trust the website and arrive to discover that the free and open wi-fi really is free and open in all areas… But you and I both know that is wishes were horses we’d all win the Grand National.

So I know it’s NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo and it’s that month where everything seems to need doing all at once but come on I only need four more!  Four of you beautiful people to show me up on my own blog (it’ll look better before I go too! See I’m going to tidy up for you!  Just you!).  I’m not sure how this sits with the Blog365 challenge but… REST!  RELAXATION!  CHANCE TO RECHARGE!

The other thing is Christmas.  I love you all (especially you) and want to send you Christmas Cards to express my deep and undying love for you (I would send you all a suitcase full of money too but mine hasn’t arrived yet…) so addresses please! If you got one last year and haven’t moved worry not I still have them stored in the part of my address book where I keep the names of people I get to take with me when the mothership comes to take me home.  So email to: iwantachristmascard@outofmytree.co.uk (thank you to Blondefabulous for reminding me it was that time of the year again!)

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Ah so the two least favourite words, when you are a temp, were uttered today - ‘Contract End’.  This brings me to my least favourite activity ‘Looking for a Job’ in the worst time of the year ‘Right before Christmas’ made doubly worse by the ‘Massive, Deep and Long Recession’ we are falling into.

Fun

But I refuse to get all upset about it!  It’s time to dust off the interview suit and get all peppy. For I am I am I am the best thing that has ever happened to your company.  Oh yes I am.  Come on, see the pep pouring out of me?

Silver lining girl - that’s me.  I’m all about the silver lining.  I, at least, now have the  time to concentrate on the writing and the endless catching up of the feedreading.

But let’s ignore all that for the time being and concentrate on this.

I am on holiday in 5 days… and I will have no readily available internet connection for 6 days.  Anyone available to take over this nightmare blog for a day?

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I know it’s only a smal burst but I had a writing blitz today.  I used Freedom and kept offline and wrote another 4,000 words.  My total is now 11,567.  Yes, not great and I know technically I should be kicking the 25,000 word total around now but I don’t care.  I have broken 10000 words and I feel good about that.

Tomorrow is another day and should work not happen again then I shall be offline and parked in front of the story which is going quite well… at the moment.  I may even want to go further with it afterwards BUT one step at a time and all that.

In other news, on Facebook today the darling Neilochka posted an event for the 2nd Annual Blogger Holiday Arts and Crafts Fair and also the sign up sheet for the 2008  Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert which means the annual bout of fear about what to sing begins again.  I will not be revisiting last year’s disastrous O Holy Night but will try and go for something a little less… squeaky!

But for now I’ll stick with the writing!

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So my totally awesome plan to finish catching up on the rest of your mind blowing blogs fell apart in a panicky stress-head-er of a day.  I realised I had loads of things to do for Monday and then the day disappeared.  I did, however, manage to watch Merlin - which was fantastic and something I really must cobble together some kind of a post for SnackieTeeVee which I would if I had any words left in my head (yes, Hilly, I know, I suck).

I also managed to load up my NaNoWriMo thing and look at it long enough for it to depress the ever living crap out of me (also known as about 2.6 seconds.  I have been sitting and typing for so long now have a small rub mark where my arm meets the laptop.  Yep, I am causing myself physical pain right now - that’s how much I love you all.

But one of the things I did was put together a new flyer for the Scout Group begging people for donations for the Christmas Fayre.  I foresee a long night or ticketing prizes for the Tombola and wrapping presents for the kids when Santa comes a-calling! I can’t believe the damned event is only 3 weeks away… Sigh… Does anyone know how to build an indoors Grotto cheaply?

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Today was a proud moment in this house.  Today was the day my Mum, my dear wonderful ’so to forward an email I click reply?’ Mum, learned to use iTunes.  There was a brief moment where I nearly brained her with a mouse but she can now drag and drop tracks to her iPod, and import tracks to the library… We’re going to work on playlists and the rest tomorrow.

It was odd seeing the look of pride on her face as she listened to her iPod and discovered the tracks that she had ripped herself playing.  It made me happy.

And that’s pretty much it - I mean I could sit here and write about the ‘preview’ of the Christmas Doctor Who but it would just be a lot of whiney crap so I’m not going to bother.  I’m just going to stay proud.

But, I am just casually going to drop in a World Diabetes Day mention and link back to the post my Mum wrote last year on the subject (mostly becase she couldn’t think of anything for this year!)

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So today I started, FINALLY, crawling out of my ‘tired lazy’ hole.  I started reading my feeds and loving them - every last one.  It was like reading my favourite book for the 900th time and discovering new pages had been written that only I could see.  It was like getting to watch The West Wing all shiny and new.  It was uplifting, invigorating and generally just cool as all hell.

And I’ve only got to the end of C. (you people in the top three letters rock so very very hard)  Which means I have the blogs in the other 23 letters to enjoy… Giddy? Me?  Oh hell yes.  I will never leave it this long again.

I have tomorrow and then the weekend to read more.

Work, I fear, is ending and the search for another position begins again.  Looking for work in the middle of a ‘economic downturn’ is a bloody nightmare and a lot scary.  This potentially means having to cut my break to Northumberland short which is a horrible shame…  But if the work is there that’s where I’ll be.

Yes, even if it is call centre work.  I can become a phone monkey again for a while.  I can afford to lose just a little but more of my soul.

Only a little bit mind.

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I have absolutely no idea where I am going with my NaNoWriMo thing.  It was going quite well and then wall, road block, big canyon, horror horror horror.

I now have three different stories going on and am hoping in some odd way that they will fit together before I completely go insane.

Thank God, I have a week off at the end of November… so I will get all my writing done then.

Yes, cats and kittens, For 7 glorious days (from the 22nd - 28th November) I will be hanging out in the middle of no where.  Lovely.

And I am only 50% sure I will be able to get online during that time - which scares me a huge amount - which is weird - considering how much I am not online at the moment.

Ugh, talk about repeating myself over and over.

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Yes, sick. Yes, horrible.  Yes, again. Ugh.  This is what I look like right now.

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It has now been three years since I started this magnificent thing we all call blogging.  And I have not regretted a single post… actually, that’s a lie - there are quite a few I wish I could take back. And quite a few that I wish I had posted.

It has been a year since I started this blog.  Which I like a lot but I have one regret.  That I have been lazy.  Very lazy.  And for that I am sorry.  At the end of days, both good and bad, instead of writing down my thoughts and feelings (to remind myself I have thoughts and feelings) I have merely mentioned how tired I am (like this is anything new) and signed off after a sentence or two.

In years to come when I read this instead of knowing how I felt I shall merely remember being tired instead of what I am… which is… see I can’t talk about it.  I try to and then I remember that the things I need to talk about here I can’t.  More regrets.  Sigh.

But at least I have posted everyday.  That’s something.

Thank you for putting up with me

NaNoWriMo Words: Still 7562

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