Out Of My Tree

Okay so the writing – sounds impressive at the moment.  Especially to me considering I have been able to write only what is on this blog and the 26000 odd words in NaNoWriMo over the last 12 months BUT it comes with a proviso.

It’s FanFiction

Sorry? What?

I am… cough… currently writing FanFiction.

Yes.

Trust me. I know.

NOw a lot of Fanfiction that I have read over the years (I used to proof read a lot of Buffy stuff back in the day…) just seems to be a way to make sure that the characters you love and adore y’know do the nasty nasty in lots of terribly poor horrible pornagraphic ways, most of which (if they were published) would be instantly up for the The Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award (a quick aside – 2008’s awards shortlist passages are here for a good giggle).

Not that I am knocking the sex.  I mean who wouldn’t want a little more lovin’ bewteen certain characters. I remember when Mulder and Scully finally kissed my head nearly exploded (and yes I know there are some that think that that was when it jumped the shark but screw you I loved that relationship)… but I get waaaaaaay too emotionally involved in things as we all know.

Anyway; as well as having characters flying in to one location and having a total nightmare with time differences; I may have backed myself into a corner with having to write a potential lust love scene.  Now I could go all Mills and Boon-y and do it all behind closed doors or I could go with the graphic description-y thing.  Either way it’s going to be quite bad.

I never really know how to describe the action… and which words do you use?  Cute pet names?  Gynaecologically correct terms? Oh baby oh baby?  All of which has potential for disaster.   The last time I even vaguely touched on the subject was during GBBMC08 (oh those heady days!) when I wrote a short piece of fiction (no, I’m not going to make you read the whole thing – that would just be cruel) and well… this was the end result.

The kiss was sudden and deep. Frantic movements full of hunger, longing, animal. Her jacket hit the floor at the same time his did. She pulled at his shirt and he threw it off as she unbuttoned his jeans. He pushed up the nightdress and broke the kiss long enough to pull it over her head. He gasped as he realised she was naked and pulled her to him, trying to make them become one person. She continued to set him free of his clothing and he stepped out of his jeans and shorts. The whirlpool of emotion that surrounded them tightened and her breasts heaved as she gasped a lungful of air. Their movements slowed as he lowered her onto the sofa and entered her with a force that only passion could be behind. She arched into him bit her lip as he thrust into her, not in any way expertly or thoughtfully, but unrefined, needfully, desired. He came inside her and collapsed against her breathlessly. She held his head against her, feeling his breath on her neck and smiled.

He was saying something but she couldn’t hear. Her heart was pounding so loud it threatened to explode from her chest.

He moved above her, looking into her eyes and uttered again the request to take it upstairs.

Tomorrow would bring panic and morality; embarrassment and explanations, but right now in the dark it was the way it always should have been.

 

Actually it makes no sense without the rest if it…

But the sex isn’t really what I’m writing about here.

FanFiction, whilst hard (living up to lots of people’s expectations as you write your version of their most loved characters, trying not to copy established pots, trying not to come across as ridiculous, trying to not get lost in ‘clever’ (they’re never clever) inside jokes) does help me skip what is, to me, the hardest part of writing – coming up with believable characters.

I get HOPELESSLY involved in character creation – back stories galore!  I know what hey had for breakfast the day they started High School and what their favourite colour was on their 12th birthday.  I create playlists of music on my iTunes that each character would have and can tell you their first kisses, favourite Subway sandwich, and their phobias – all of which would probably never be mentioned in the story.  I get so involved in the back story that my last two ‘things’ (for they are neither stories or novels or anything substantial) became histories and collapsed under the weight of information.  Not pretty sights.  There were tears.

But I do have a tale brewing in the back of my head.  So to get going with the writing I always do a bit a FanFicion-ing.  It’s a fun and fairly pain free way of helping my flex the right muscles and getting them warmed up before I run the gauntlet of original material.

The bad thing is this time is I am getting into the FanFiction in a big way and am really enjoying the story.  I signed up to a FanFiction website and am actually letting people see it…   I am hoping to update that story 2 or 3 times a week which has the added bonus of fulfilling a resolution and giving me an ego boost.  I am REALLY hoping that I don’t do that thing where I get bored before the end and drift off until I am just dribbling… ooo, like now!

Hmmm… the wordiness isn’t just effecting (affecting?) my fiction.  Sorry for the long post.

Well not really apologetic… Have been writing!  Yes writing!

And therefore am braindead to anything else.

Oh. still having  internet connectivity issues…  Am this close to buying another new wireless boxy thign.

See, the writing has removed technical words from my head!

I haven’t spent all day writing in a long time.  And I still haven’t.

I got out my little book of ideas and started to type them up adding bits in as little sparks of inspiration dribbled out of my head… and then I got distracted.  Just a little.

I recently took all my music off iTunes and added it back in so I started to create playlists… and then I got fed up of that and watched some of the things I had bought a while a go… all to wait for Freedom to run out and then I could really disctract myself online.

But as soon as I got to my email a friend had sent me the latest installment of the book they have been writing and I spent pretty much the rest of the day editing that.

Lovely.

So.. by the time I get back to my writing my eyes had become distinct non-round and my energy level has all but dropped to naught.

SO, I’m going to potter off and watch Casualty where my favourite character is leaving!

I close my eyes and I see your face staring at me through the dark.  I cannot see what emotion runs across your face but I know that it scares me.

I try to remain still not letting you know that I am aare of you, even though I know you can see everything I am thinking and feeling.

When will you speak and put me out of my misery?  When will your demons let me go?

My head feels numb with all the conflicting emotions – everything so bright and intense it fades to nothing.

My impatience wins and I speak your name, only my throat burns and I cannot make a noise so the words come out as a whisper which you can pretend not to have heard.

You turn away to go and I know that this is another day wasted.  Another day when I could have resolved my life.

I open my eyes and the memories of yeasr ago fade away in the blackness.

I really should slow down on the cough medicine.

I know it’s only a smal burst but I had a writing blitz today.  I used Freedom and kept offline and wrote another 4,000 words.  My total is now 11,567.  Yes, not great and I know technically I should be kicking the 25,000 word total around now but I don’t care.  I have broken 10000 words and I feel good about that.

Tomorrow is another day and should work not happen again then I shall be offline and parked in front of the story which is going quite well… at the moment.  I may even want to go further with it afterwards BUT one step at a time and all that.

In other news, on Facebook today the darling Neilochka posted an event for the 2nd Annual Blogger Holiday Arts and Crafts Fair and also the sign up sheet for the 2008  Blogger Christmahanukwanzaakah Online Holiday Concert which means the annual bout of fear about what to sing begins again.  I will not be revisiting last year’s disastrous O Holy Night but will try and go for something a little less… squeaky!

But for now I’ll stick with the writing!

So my totally awesome plan to finish catching up on the rest of your mind blowing blogs fell apart in a panicky stress-head-er of a day.  I realised I had loads of things to do for Monday and then the day disappeared.  I did, however, manage to watch Merlin – which was fantastic and something I really must cobble together some kind of a post for SnackieTeeVee which I would if I had any words left in my head (yes, Hilly, I know, I suck).

I also managed to load up my NaNoWriMo thing and look at it long enough for it to depress the ever living crap out of me (also known as about 2.6 seconds.  I have been sitting and typing for so long now have a small rub mark where my arm meets the laptop.  Yep, I am causing myself physical pain right now – that’s how much I love you all.

But one of the things I did was put together a new flyer for the Scout Group begging people for donations for the Christmas Fayre.  I foresee a long night or ticketing prizes for the Tombola and wrapping presents for the kids when Santa comes a-calling! I can’t believe the damned event is only 3 weeks away… Sigh… Does anyone know how to build an indoors Grotto cheaply?

Today was a proud moment in this house.  Today was the day my Mum, my dear wonderful ’so to forward an email I click reply?’ Mum, learned to use iTunes.  There was a brief moment where I nearly brained her with a mouse but she can now drag and drop tracks to her iPod, and import tracks to the library… We’re going to work on playlists and the rest tomorrow.

It was odd seeing the look of pride on her face as she listened to her iPod and discovered the tracks that she had ripped herself playing.  It made me happy.

And that’s pretty much it – I mean I could sit here and write about the ‘preview’ of the Christmas Doctor Who but it would just be a lot of whiney crap so I’m not going to bother.  I’m just going to stay proud.

But, I am just casually going to drop in a World Diabetes Day mention and link back to the post my Mum wrote last year on the subject (mostly becase she couldn’t think of anything for this year!)

I have absolutely no idea where I am going with my NaNoWriMo thing.  It was going quite well and then wall, road block, big canyon, horror horror horror.

I now have three different stories going on and am hoping in some odd way that they will fit together before I completely go insane.

Thank God, I have a week off at the end of November… so I will get all my writing done then.

Yes, cats and kittens, For 7 glorious days (from the 22nd – 28th November) I will be hanging out in the middle of no where.  Lovely.

And I am only 50% sure I will be able to get online during that time – which scares me a huge amount – which is weird – considering how much I am not online at the moment.

Ugh, talk about repeating myself over and over.

I am, this year, going to do it.

November.  It’s that month and I’ve already started.

Yes, I know I am so very very busy this month but if I don’t do it this year then…

I have to.

So I have signed up at NaNoWriMo and I am on my way.

Word count: 1,775

The wind is blowing hard outside and the rain is steadily falling through my open window.  I need the air, I need to breathe.

I was only at work for 5 hours today but it felt like an age.  I got barely anything done and just felt useless.  Should have just stayed in bed.

I finished Breaking Dawn, book 4 of the Twilight Saga and now have to wait for Book 5… which isn’t anywhere near coming out. I am now at a loss for what to read.  I mean I have a stack of books that I have not yet read but… none of them appeal.

I think I may have to start printing out the blog posts that have been accumulating in my feed reader (when the number is over 4000 – that means you’re in trouble, right?) and taking them with me on the bus to and from work.  Actually that’s not the worst idea in the world…

I think tomorrow I may take some time to start looking at the CBT material I was given during my counselling session, but this may be just pipe dreams.  I might just dye my hair instead… Right now I am tired enough to sleep through the end of the world.