Out Of My Tree

Yes, I know that there are important things going on in the world and I am upset, appalled, disgusted and ashamed of all of them, but today, my whole day was leading up to one 45minute period.  Doctor Who. The Stolen Earth.

THERE ARE NO SPOILERS HERE (Go here if you want them).  I’ve learned my lesson on that one over and over and over.  I was gibbering like a fool at the end of it. Like. A. Fool.

I mean my head knew that the thing that appeard to happen couldn’t have possibly happened but my heart was pounding like a… poundy thing and I had a tear of excitement right from… pretty much the first moment.  And… when The Doctor and Donna went to the… place and then… the look of panic on Donna’s face was much like my own.  Scary.

But then joy joy joy.  And then horror.  Ooo… another big nemesis back with lots and lots of reasons how that could be.  And Rose?  Whiney.  I mean, great she was there but whiney…

And it’s just lucky (or really really sad) that I watch all the other spin offs so I knew who everyone else was…

I’m shutting up now… but I think I know what the Osterhagen Key is.  And if I’m right?  Oooooooo…

Right, I’m going back to the BBC to watch it again.  For those outside the UK - go - download!  Waste no time!

written by bec \\ tags: Doctor Who, The Stolen Earth

So I am quite the lazy half assed person at the moment as you all well know). I have transferred my feedreader to NetNewsWire so that the numbers can rise accusingly on my Dock and I can’t avoid how crap I have been about visiting your beautiful blogs. Getting my shit together I am. I swear.

So there has been very little going on in my life that hasn’t sucked in some way. I either sleep too much or not at all - either way am too tired to be useful = luckily I work at a plac where everyone loves me (haha) so they haven’t noticed I’ve been doing my job with half a brain… or maybe they have and they are just being nice about it!

But enough of that whining… let’s whinge about something else for a chapter or two. I downloaded and installed the stunning Firefox 3 for today is Download Day! I pottered round for bit and thought, ‘Hey, I like it here!’ Good job, Mozilla! Remembered that I really should post something and came over here - only now my Wordpress Visual Editor won’t work, and yes I have posted to the Wordpress forum which means (if experience has anything to do with it) by the time I have finished posting this that some beautiful geek will tell em how to fix it!  

But for the time being I am all about using Safari which to be honest I haven’t used in a while (do I feel bad about this? Not so much… it used to hate me but right now seems to have forgiven me and is curling up on my lap going to sleep… well, it’s not humping my leg - hang on wrong browser.

I have also realised that I have missed (by a huge huge huge margin) one of my favourite online holidays - Towel Day which was on the 25th May.  And when I see that I did a meme on that day instead… Oh… I am hanging my head in shame.

I have also not written Writer’s Island post for three weeks.  That at least can be rectified… and I will start tomorrow.  Before work, after work and well during too… I’m on it baby!

Okay, Safari has behaved this long but I don’t want to push it so am going away now.

written by bec \\ tags: firefox 3, wordpress issue

So I did it again - well, not exactly the same thing but there was deletion involved - well, shutting down of Firefox and some swearing.  But at least I remember what I was writing about.

Alanis Morissette.

I know what a lot of people think of her - whiney, needs to get a life, angry for no reason, melodramatic drama queen, crap - but I dispute all those things.

There is very rarely that I follow a musician through without losing faith.  Even my favourite band of all time (Embrace) has wobbled in my affections recently.

But Alanis has always been a love of mine.

From Jagged Little Pill through to So Called Chaos she has led me up and down the path of her own emotional journey… each time me doing the nodding dog as I agree with her lyrics and absorb the songs into my ‘trigger’ list.  Each of these songs are, to me, like therapy sessions allowing me to either remember the way out, or allowing me to drown in the emotion… to really feel something.

If I want to remember the happiness of falling in love it’s Head Over Heels

Trying to find peace within myself - That I Would Be Good

Looking for approval and not finding it  - Your Congratulations

Being dizzy with excitment  - So Pure

Avoiding the pain of seeing that which I cannot have - Flinch

Trying to let go - This Grudge

And every other song she has done will pull my heart strings in one direction or another.

So when it was anounced that she was releasing another album I became simultaneously ridiculously excited and terrified that she would not be able to help me during my current emotional crisis.

So, a quick upload to my iPod and then I became afraid of listening.  Could I handle the disappointment?

So, I tuned in with bated breath and…

Thank God.  She still knows what is in my head and in my heart.

The song Torch has… made me begin to believe that maybe I can stop holding the torch I have in my heart one day… and Straitjacket.  Oh Straitjacket… I know that feeling… that feeling of utter helpessness and wanting to scream in the face of a multi-faced brick wall… each song a triumph in it’s own way.  I can’t wait any longer.  I have to play it again.

written by bec \\ tags: Alanis Morissette, flavours of entanglement

Oh today people. Today, I was almost all kinds of fantastic.

Oh yes I was. No seriously. Stop looking at me like that! I was!

Alright, I wasn’t. I had a moment of genius which I can’t talk about because I can’t talk about my job but just accept I am a living God and move on.

I have put my woolly coat on, got down on all fours and baa-ed loudly for all the world to hear. I have signed up at Zazzle and am in the process of designing some rather splendid t-shirts and other items. Of course in true ‘me’ fashion they are in no way ready yet, purely because I am blogging now and then finishing them later… But soon you will marvel at the mediocrity of my produce and buy some of Karl’s instead (see, whoring myself out to Dave yesterday and Karl today)

The logo on them is the tree - yes that one up there - but simplified and in various colours… like these.

I like them… and am needing to find new and improved ways of earning money to finance a way ‘up’. Of course, I expect a major chain to pick them up immediately and to see on the back of people like Paris Hilton and Kate Moss as soon as next week.

In other news I started watching The Net (the Sandra Bullock film, not the series) as a flicked onto after Chuck… and my mind, as it does, started to wander if my family disappeared and I got myself into a pickle like dear Miss Bullock, would anyone be willing to stick their neck out and say ‘yes, that’s Bec’? Not saying, would people be able to physically identify me because there are quite a few people who know this face but would anyone be willing to risk getting into the deep water with me and drown? When the mind starts to wander like this there is only one thing to do - switch off the TV and make more brightly coloured ‘Tree products.

And on that particular piece of insanity I leave you to go to dreamland… where hopefully I will be chased by one or two of my favourite fantasies.

written by bec \\ tags: Dave, karl, t-shirts, zazzle

Yes, the site’s gone a lurid shade of green. It’s Spring don’t you know?! There’s sunshine and blossom on the trees and birds tweeting all bloody day. People are taking their jackets ff, the trendies are wearing large sun glasses that make them look like flies and there is a smell of fake tan lotion about.

On a day like today how could I not add in this video? (NSFW)

Yeah, that’s all I got. See, my minds still in last month’s zone.

Oh, BTW, I am really very very very very sorry about not visiting your blog. The hormone pills are wiping me out… just as my life gets busy. But it’s a Bank Holiday weekend so I’ll be there to love and comfort you… or something.

written by bec \\ tags: First of May, Jonathan Coulton, spring

The news that Gary Gygax, co-creator of Dungeons & Dragons, has died has made me think about things I haven’t in a long time.

A few years ago, when I was going through a massive bout of depression, living hour to hour was the most I could do and a group of crazy but wonderful people took me in to their lives and helped me out.

I was a mess. I trusted no one and nothing, including and especially myself. I did some things I wasn’t proud of and, well, let’s just say I didn’t like myself very much. I was hiding myself from the world so being introduced to lots of new people was hard… and easy at the same time. It was hard as I felt like I had to hide myself, and easy because I could hide myself and become a new person (Yes, we all know how well that goes - but I thought I’d give it a go!)

When I was told that this new group of people role-played I’ll admit a little apprehension… visions of… well, I had no idea… but certainly not books and dice and character sheets with hundreds of numbers on that indicated how good your character was at ‘bluffing’ and ‘hiding’ and ’swimming’ and everything else… And then MORE numbers on the front with armour ratings and weapons and things. Books filled with spells and more statistics. It just seemed like the complicated version of Top Trumps ever.

But then, watching these people become their characters was astounding. The quiet ones became confident assassins and the burly males became women. It was fascinating. My character - a psychotic sorcerer child - was introduced and I kind of just went with it. I had no idea what I was doing with the dice and tried to avoid using the numbers as much as possible. I was there for the story. It was like a mad Improv Drama class and I loved it while it lasted.

I have been writing the tales of my character (broken free of the bonds of the game) on and off for years but it may be time to really get down and write them. I think that was one of the reasons I enjoyed playing the game so much - not the battles and the ‘levelling’ but the loss of self in the character. That’s the thing I enjoy about writing fiction so much and one thing I must get back into doing.

written by bec \\ tags: dungeons and dragons, roleplay, Writing

Celebrate people! This is the 101st post of this blog! Hurrah, Hurrah!

To mark this moment, and for no other reason that it fits quite well, this post is dedicated to Room 101. Now, literary types will go,

“Ah, Room 101, 1984, rats… yes”

And those who have read the book may even quote,

“You asked me once, what was in Room 101… The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world.”

to remind themselves of the horror ( and to show that they can quote from books.), but I refer, not to the literary Room 101 but the TV Series.

Although it was cancelled last year, it is one of those shows that will never be forgotten. For thjose who never saw it the basic premise was each guest on the show listed the things they hate most in the world and nominate them to go into Room 101, and never be seen again. You could nominate people, animals, things, places, anything you like from the sublime (Disney) to the ridiculous (the small piece of cotton which holds new socks together). The host would decide on the strength of your argument whether it would go in…

The things I would nominate to go in Room 101 are:

External speakers on mobile phones. They are unnecessary and annoying. And they never sound good. They are just offensive in every way. Being stuck on a bus with one of these pumping music out is just the ‘perfect’ way to start or end a day.

People Who Talk in the Cinema Going to hell they are, but while they are here ruining movie goign for the rest of us

Cigarettes in public places I know they have been banned from public buildings and pubs and the like, but that just means that the smoke is outside now being blown into our faces as we walk along the street. You can’t drink alcohol on the street any more, so lets put cigarette smoke inside private spaces, and while I’m on this subject…

People who have kids and smoke These people either a) don’t care about their children’s health, or b) don’t realise that smoke is dangerous. Just the other day I saw some girl light up a cigarette in front of her very very young baby and then wave the cigarette in front of its face. I wanted to beat her to death with the pram.

So, come on, play along. You can nominate as many things as you want, but you must say why… Then a decision shall be made whether to put it in or not (if anyone has any strong feelings either way then pipe up!)

written by bec \\ tags: Room 101, things I hate

Let me just start off by pointing out that I was in a card shop today and was the only person in there not buying a Valentine. I think if you have left it to the last minute to buy a Valentine card then you clearly didn’t really want to get one… and haven’t put much thought into it. And the amount of men walking round with a dozen red roses was just awful. Men. A dozen red roses does not an impressed girl make. It just shows how unbelievably original you are.

But the popular holiday celebrated tomorrow is not the main theme of this post. No.

Do you remember before Christmas (all those hundreds of days ago (no wait it was about two months ago (hang on, that means we’re already (holy crap) 6 weeks into this year - where is the time going to?)))(shall I got back on point? (Yes) Okay) I had the splendid idea to do a few gift ideas… mostly as a blank blog space filler. Well, it turns out that may have been one of my better ideas just purely for the amount of traffic one particular post has been pulling in. Last month it was 67.9% of my search engine traffic came from a variation of the search of adult onesie pyjamas. This month so far it is 37.2%. I mean, I know they are cool and everything but what is the fascination? Why are so many people hunting for them (particularly on Google it might be noted). I mean, why? If you are one of those hunting for them, or have an idea anyway; please stop and tell me why? It’s becoming a thing I’ve started to ponder on while I’m at work. That’s how much it’s bugging me - it’s taking time away from the squirrel watching!

(Oh and to the person who has arrived here 4 times looking for pictures of penis rings - sorry, still none here)

written by bec \\ tags: adult onesie pyjamas, blog traffic, search engine phrases, Valentine's grumble

Have now downgraded my router and everything is fine. Ish. Well, it’s working at the moment so let’s just smile and pretend everything is fine. Ah, the peace of denial!

So, anyway, I was down at the Scout Hut today doing our Re-Registration Day (basically getting the parents down to the hut to fill in forms confirming that they don’t want us to kick their little darlings out AND getting them to volunteer for things). My whole bit involved getting people to drink tea and coffee and confirm the times they will be showing up for the bag pack (that I am now organising as Mum has been banned from it by, well, everybody) next weekend.

I honestly thought it would be a disaster. That no one would show and we would all end up feeling complete idiots. The great parentage surprised me again! Although not all of them showed up (not by a great stretch of the imagination did I, or anyone else for that matter, expect that to happen) enough did so that we could call it a success. Now we just have to get people to stick to the things they signed up for.

The enthusiasm that was shown got me in the right mood to get the things done I have been avoiding for a while. So, yay! The only thing I have to concentrate on now is…. ARRRGGGGHHHHH! The website. I have to do one that works on anything but php… It’s been so long since I’ve bothered that I can’t remember a thing. It’s the login bit that’s killing me. We need a protected bit so that we can put letters to parents, event information, photos and the like in there. php - easy as, done, dusted (thanks Wordpress). Everything else is just too damn hard to figure out. But! I am going to Whip It (yes, that song has been running round my head all day - just passing on an earworm!) and success will continue to be the theme of this week.

written by bec \\ tags: , password protect, scouts, volunteers

I had a really good post for tonight in my head which I am now saving for tomorrow.  The reason you are not getting it now is, well, can’t be bothered.

The damn router keeps dropping connection (am acting like a Vista customer and downgrading to the reliable workshorse one when daylight comes) which means I have to restart the whole bloody thing every time…  Am currently wired into the modem, cables dripping out of my Macbook making it look like it is on life support.  So, don’t hate me for my laziness.  Just accept that I need sleep… or something…

written by bec \\ tags: , connection droppage, router, short post