Okay so here’s what is going on.

Eleven days ago Neil and I went to his yearly heart check-up.

Neil has Marfan’s Syndrome which is a rare genetic disorder that affects the connective tissue.  It effects about 5,000 people in the U.K. That’s the dry version.  The reality is that he is partially sighted and has joint problems and…

At the heart check-up Neil had an Echo and an ECG and X-Rays and then at the end of a very long day a chat with a lovely surgeon who said the first of a lot of very scary words.

Sometime in the next few months Neil will be going in for a heart operation. His aortic valve needs repairing or replacing and his Mitral Valve might need repairing or replacing too.

He is okay.  It’s not his first heart operation.  I didn’t even know him during the first one which was seven years ago during which his Aortic Valve was repaired.  So he’s all fine about it and is more worried about everyone else which is so typical of him.

I am terrified but positive which I think is the healthiest reaction I can have.  There will be a week in hospital followed by six weeks of recovery during which I am going to have to try to make “the world’s most difficult patient” (how he describes himself) follow the rules and be healthier.  I am scared and have, therefore, become a horrendous bitch – watching everything he does and listening to his heart and breathing and driving him insane.

On Wednesday we have the first of many tests – this one is a Breathing Capability test which is the least stressful.  At some point soon Neil will have a T.O.E. – a camera test – which he will be having under General Anaesthetic.  It will be fine.  Of course it will be.

It has to be.

So, basically, I am sorry for being a bit short and a bit distracted.  I will be fine… and I will stop being selfish talking about my own feelings and will just go and see if Neil needs anything.