So, I had the eye exam and I can tell you that they lied. Sting?  Sting?!  Fraking killed!  My eyes felt like they were having acid poured in them but of course I am too bloody polite to say anything.  I just let it go and moved back to the waiting room to wait for my pupils to dilate or whatever.  Neil was great – he is partially sighted and has been through the eye test I was having a number of times.  I was waiting fr my eyes to flip out but other than a weird doubling of everything and… you know when you have bee crying ad you still have tears in the corner of our eyes – the wet window thing?  Yeah, like that.

The nurse was lovely and had no problem with Neil coming with me into the room while she did a standard eye test with me (I really need to go to opticians and get some new glasses but things were basically fine with that); and the photographer was very good at explaining what she was doing and why.  They tied it in to the whole care I will be getting and emphasised a number of times that I must go to all my appointments.  Then it was time to leave after they advised me that I will get a letter through the post some time in the next two weeks with my results and that my eyes would be back to normal in 2-6 hours.  Then came the leaving.

When we went in it was perfect eye test weather. – dull, cloudy, potential for rain, lovely.  Great, thought I, I will will not need to wear sunglasses which ALWAYS make me look stupid – I will be fine.  So, of course, the sun got his bloody hat on hip hip hip hooray and the sunglasses went on.  That wasn’t enough though.  So, eyes closed, hand tightly on Neil’s arm and feeling rubbish.

I am the worst blind person ever.

I trust Neil with my heart, soul and life and he knows it but, holy God, am I ever surprised he didn’t push me into traffic.  I think he may have lost circulation in his arm I was holding on so tight and the amount of times I asked ‘are you sure?’ – mental case.  Looooonnnnngggg story short though he got me home and I went to bed hiding away from the bad light… and I slept to avoid the headache that was taking over the greater part of my brain.  Yay!

Neil has a regular meet-up with his friends every Tuesday and there was no way I was letting him miss that so I sent him out by vaguely opening one eye in the darkened room insisting I would be fine.  No, I didn’t want anything.  Yes, I would call if there was a problem.  Back to sleep went I.

A couple of hours later I woke to the call of nature and answered with my eyes bleary from sleep I looked in the mirror and was surprised to see that my eyes were still spacey and things were still doubled and wet window-y.  Then it all went a little wrong.  I couldn’t find my glasses.  I needed a little control back and imbued my glasses with the magical powers of sorting my eyes out and they weren’t where they should be.  Called Neil and heard ringing in the flat.  Yes, his mobile was still attached to the charger where he had apparently left it so, of course, I called my mum who lives 7 miles away and cried down the phone that my glasses had wandered off.  I don’t know what I was expecting her to do – use remote viewing to find them?

My mum is awesome in a stupid crisis like this one.  She pulls me down off the ledge and wallops some logic back in there.  Two suggestions was all it took before the specs were back on my nose -made me think I should check for cameras.  Yes, my eyes were still blurry but I was then more concerned with the lingering headache and the feeling sick.  It was becoming awesome.  More sleep and cuddles from the returned Neil cured that though.

Fast forward through a bad stomach pains and headache and feeling sick Wednesday to Thursday.  The post arrived and in it was a letter from the Diabetic Retinal Clinic – any medical letter comes that quick and panic tends to set in.  If it’s fast news; it’s bad news – right? I opened it with more than a little trepidation – I was going blind.  Glaucoma was marching across my eye balls bring with it a cavalry of cataracts and Diabetic Retinopathy (whatever the hell that is) – how was I going to cope?  I had images of darkness and – yes, I went down the rabbit hole fast.

Wow, I am rambling a lot today.

“Your eyes are fine… well screwed because you haven’t been to the opticians in bloody ages but Diabetes wise they’ll do” is exactly what the letter said.

True story.

So, now I’m on to the next bit.  Tomorrow I see the Diabetic Specialist Nurse who, I have been lead to believe, will sort everything out and tell me how to kick this all in the nuts.. and the I will become healthy and full of energy and able to take over the world!

But right now, I am going back to bed for a while because I feel tired and old and am still getting over the horror of nearly fainting on my mum yesterday while shopping (throwing up in nearly every loo in Preston followed by the inability to use my legs followed by the world going away and nearly knocking my mum over does not a happy Bec make).

No, wait, have to go bake something to encourage Neil (who has finally succumbed to the bug that is going round) to eat.