Out Of My Tree

In tonight’s performance, the part of Bec will be played by Penelope.  Penelope is currently starring in the regular production of It’s Me…Penelope; currently in it’s 13th month.  Tickets are still available from all good outlets.

Yes, that’s right folks, if you came here looking for the delightful Bec I’m sorry to disappoint you but she is off holidaying and as I owe her the mother of all favours, I offered to step in for one night only.

I have never guest posted before and I won’t lie, this has been causing me a teensy bit of stress over the past few days.  (I’m such a wuss!)  Having said all that, I poured a glass of wine, (nothing new there then), thought of a theme and started trawling the internet for pictures of hot men.  What?  You don’t spend your evenings doing that?

Just before Bec left for her trip, she mentioned that she could really use a manservant.  Couldn’t we all darling?!  That got my Chardonnay-pickled brain working over-drive and I started to wonder what qualities would make the perfect slave.

This was what I came up with:

He absolutely needs Gorgeous George’s looks.  If he’s going to be working for me 24/7 then I want something pretty to gaze at.

He needs to be good with kids.  I only have the 2, but Brad-Gelina seems to have the knack where looking after a Brad-y Bunch is concerned.

He must have the wit, humour and inteligence of the delectable Stephen Fry.  This man cracks me up, but he is also on my list of “people I would love to be stuck in a lift with”.  (Doesn’t everyone have one of those lists?!)

He must be able to cook gournet food on a daily basis and who better than Jean-Christophe Novelli?  Cute and a Michelin starred chef?  What more could a girl ask for?

If he’s the type to sing while he is defrosting the fridge then he better have the voice of Carlos Marin.  One quarter of Il Divo and, let’s be honest, a rather choice bit of eye candy too!

Finally, he needs to be fairly quick on his feet and so the rather delicious legs (and arse!) of Brendon Cole would be perfect.  Handy if I fancy an impromptu dance lesson, because obviously that happens all the time Chez Penelope!

What do you think?  Did I miss anyone out?