... and lazy

Izzy, my dear sweet cat, has not been feeling well recently.  She was swollen to double her size, was unable to walk due to the weight.  Eating and all the things a cat needs a tray for virtually stopped.

There have been many trips to the vet recently.  Many things were suggested – none of them serious.  Nothing worked.  Over the weekend her back right leg and foot swelled dramatically and she became unable to move.  I sat with her resting on me wrapped in her blanket, her sweet face purring up at me as she warmed herself.

She looked at me like she knew she was ill and that I was doing all that I could to help her.  I have sat up with her night after night during the various illnesses she has had over the last few years… and I hope she knows I would do that forever if she needed me to.

Today Mum took her back to the vet and they took a blood test to check her kidneys.  The results came back this evening.  The kidneys are no longer working correctly (the swelling was  caused by a fluid build up) and her heart is under a great deal of stress.  The short version is that she is dying.  It could take days or weeks… even with pain relief the treatment she will be getting will never get rid of the discomfort she is having.

Tonight she is at the vets and I have never wanted to hold her more.  I miss her so much…  Tomorrow morning we will find out when she will come home… and whether it is to live with medication and pain relief… or whether she is coming home to say goodbye.

The thought of that stops my breath.