The Pink Corridor of Hell

When I finally arrived at the hospital (after the damned bus didn’t show up) I felt sick to my stomach, memories of the last time I was here flashing through my head like a ‘Previously on Hospital Visits From Hell’ – the humiliation and the sense of powerlessness.  I felt like running, but the empty waiting room was like a cage keeping me there. I should have taken someone with me – how on earth did I think I was strong enough to face up to a doctor and, yep, I forgot all the research I had done the night before so I wasn’t even armed with knowledge.  I would sit and be lectured to and babble like an idiot.  Why was one type of pill better than the other?  Why was one hormone not to gone near?  Why didn’t I bring my Mac with me?

Right outside the door of the waiting room was a vending machine full of Coke.  That would settle my raging stomach.  That would help.  Should have eaten something before I came out.  I moved to stand up to get caffeine and sugar and that was when the nurse appeared to weigh me (oh fun). And that was today’s first surprise! I have lost 1 and a half stone in 4 months.  Yeah baby! And I have apparently grown an inch as well.  Fun.

She left me in the exam room for a moment and then I was called in to see the Doctor. Second pleasant surprise – he wasn’t the guy I saw last time!  And this one listened!  I now feel a little bit more confident about things if still a little apprehensive about what will happen with the pills.  I have blood tests to make sure they are not turning my body into, I don’t know, slush.  I am starting off slowly… he will not be putting me on the bad hormones that made me crazy…

While I was waiting at the pharmacy drinking a bad bad cappuccino things started to race.  The blood tests will also include Cortizone levels and a glucose test.  More things to google and stress about… but could this be the thing that leads to me being able to ‘get up and go’?

Today was a real step one.