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Flare
Jul
7
Today was one of those days. Got up, felt sick, threw up, went to work, threw up some more, came home, went to bed, woke up, threw up, (repeat once or thrice), went back to bed, woke up long enough to write this… and it’s already midnight.
Today. July 7th. All day I knew the date was significant. All day there was a nagging thought in my head. All day.
And then as I was reading posts about New York that made me cry I remembered. Oh God. July 7th. 7/7. London.
So, this got me thinking. Was I sick because
- the nasty bug that has been hovering around the office finally got me
- like a child who has too much of a good thing, all the excitement of the weekend finally got to me
- guilt for not remembering.
Now, I know that not remembering is a ‘good thing’ – it shows that I am getting on with my life and not letting the bastards get me down and all that palaver but… it’s London. Our capital city. And they attacked it.
Sorry. I’m getting all preachy again. I just… when I feel guilty I get defensive and I have no one to attack so it’s coming out in all the wrong directions.
I’m going to go and throw up again now and then sleep. And hopefully the guilt will go away.
10 Responses to “Guilt”
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July 8th, 2008 at 2:10 am
Ack, totally forgot about 7/7. Hope you’re feeling better soon. I so hate the puking.
Karls last blog post..Cell Phone Courtesy Month My Ass
July 8th, 2008 at 2:17 am
I sometimes tire of all the comemorative this, rememberance that, that has come about since Sept. 11th over here. In a way it seems so tacky…. but some people are feeling better with everything that they purchase.
I still remember that day. Me, pregnant with my son, wondering what kind of a world my child was going to be born in, every TV station replaying the horror over and over, and the one, best memory I have from that moment in time, was the royal band in front of Buckingham Palace, playing the National Anthem of the United States of America, giving us hope, letting us know we were not alone.
I feel your pain. If I were there, I’d hold the bucket for you. I make a mean chicken soup…… Fell better. We are all in this together!
blondefabulouss last blog post..I Have Returned!
July 8th, 2008 at 2:47 am
I hope you feel better. I suppose it’s sign that we are healing. On the other hand we should never forget… if that makes any sense at all.
Nats last blog post..Up here so high the boughs the break…
July 8th, 2008 at 6:54 am
I thought about 7/7 all day, my parents and BIL all work in the centre of London and as Mum is a nurse she was put on stand-by on a burns unit that day. None of them could move, get home, do anything. I’ll never forget the relief when I had heard from all of them.
Those bastards will NOT get us down – you’re right!
On a side note, for anyone who thinks this was the first time London was terrorised, remember all those years of IRA bombings? We survived that too ;o)
Wow, now I’m getting preachy!
Feel better Bec xxx
Penelopes last blog post..Are you looking at my food?
July 8th, 2008 at 8:16 am
I spend much of the day dashing around on the Tube without giving it a second thought. I could have done without the Evening Standard story that the family of one of the bombers held its now annual “martyr” commemoration at his grave in Pakistan, but if we are to win we have to tolerate any affront and never tolerate violence.
moobss last blog post..TC 08 the nominees
July 8th, 2008 at 9:08 am
I think that, as you say, it can be seen seen as a positive thing you forgot. And a good thing that it is remembered quietly and not with wailing and gnashing of teeth. Terrorists desire terror after all.
At the time of the bombing we only lived a couple of miles from where the terrorists lived (Dewsbury). That was very unsettling
July 8th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Oh God, I so hate to vomit, but I hate even more to think of dear old London under attack. Bastards. You get better soon or I’m going to worry. Take care.
Selmas last blog post..Written By Water
July 10th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Karl – I live in this country and I forgot – you have no guilt at all. I very very much hate the puking too. Body making me suffer greatly.
blondefabulous – I think all the remembering is a quick way of trying to make sense of all of this nonsense that is going on. A stop and breathe. Oh, when the palace guard played the US anthem I cried. And not for the first time that day. You do have to take the positive things out of days like those or a little madness starts to creep in.
Oh how I love chicken soup, but at the moment it’s all about what goes down…
Nat – Absolute sense. I get quite a lot of shit for remembering and commemorating these dates but it’s my way of trying to keep it ordered in my head. The more I know, the more I can control my reactions to things… that kind of thing…
Penelope – I remember phoning most of my family who live or work around London – cousins I hadn’t spoken to in years got a slightly frantic phone call that day. The weird thing with the IRA bombings was that you knew exactly what their ‘beef’ with us was and what they expected to get out of it – one clear objective. In this ‘new’ round of terrorism it seems indiscriminate and a lot like shooting an water gun at a nuclear warhead.
moobs – For some reason the fact that his family is holding any kind of commemoration just makes me sad. That’s another group of people who thinks what he did was right. Sad.
Dan – Very very unsettling. A quiet remembrance is the British way to go. Stiff upper lips and all that.
Selma – I’m far to much of a drama queen not to blog about something serious to worry about -it’s all just more annoying than anything at the moment. I’m going back to lie on the bathroom floor now though.
July 10th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
I know how that feels to be sick. And to have it go on all day at various times, really takes it out of you.
Hopefully you are feeling better.
As for the 7/7 date, I remember seeing that on the news and really feeling so sad for everyone. While the death toll was not worse than what it was, it was still very tragic. Hard to believe it’s been 3 years already.
martymankinss last blog post..Scooter Sunday #12
July 11th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
martymankins – It was one of those weird days – the 52 that died was, yes, a much smaller number than other events but I think it was more a sense of not being safe … again…