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Guilt

Today was one of those days. Got up, felt sick, threw up, went to work, threw up some more, came home, went to bed, woke up, threw up, (repeat once or thrice), went back to bed, woke up long enough to write this… and it’s already midnight.

Today.  July 7th. All day I knew the date was significant.  All day there was a nagging thought in my head.  All day.

And then as I was reading posts about New York that made me cry I remembered. Oh God.  July 7th.  7/7.  London.

So, this got me thinking.  Was I sick because

  1. the nasty bug that has been hovering around the office finally got me
  2. like a child who has too much of a good thing, all the excitement of the weekend finally got to me
  3. guilt for not remembering.

Now, I know that not remembering is a ‘good thing’ - it shows that I am getting on with my life and not letting the bastards get me down and all that palaver but… it’s London.  Our capital city.  And they attacked it.

Sorry.  I’m getting all preachy again. I just… when I feel guilty I get defensive and I have no one to attack so it’s coming out in all the wrong directions.

I’m going to go and throw up again now and then sleep.  And hopefully the guilt will go away.

Filed under: Headspace | 10Comments | Author:bec | July 7th, 2008