Why do they call them side effects? This makes them sound like they just stay out of the way, slightly to the left of you, ignorable.
What brain dead moron though that ’side effects’ was a good name for the unholy crap the pills I am taking are putting me through?
So, as I get over the dizzy, tiredness thing from the Ramipril (High Blood Pressure meds) I have to start taking the Provera (magic pill that is supposed to kick start my menstrual cycle again (after 10 years)). Well, today I have had more dizziness and a weird feeling in my fingers (like they didn’t belong to me), hellish cramps, headache, extreme irritability, low worthless feeling, tiredness all day but am now (NOW!) wide awake, feeling sick and starving at the same time and total inability to concentrate on anything.
It’s been so long since I’ve done ‘the cycle’ that I can’t remember if any or all of this is normal. maybe I’m freaking out over nothing? Oh I hope so.
I was talking about the diagnosis with someone at work and I joked about having a hysterectomy - ‘just whip it all out and have done with it’ and she looked at me like I had just suggested chopping my head off.
Work Woman: ‘But you can’t do that
Me: Why?
WW: You wouldn’t be able to have a child!
Me: That’s fine, I don’t want one.
WW: That’s silly, every woman wants a child.
Me: (after long pause thinking about the possibility) Nope, couldn’t have one - too selfish and far too scared.
WW: Of what?
Me: Failure - bringing a child up in this world takes more responsibility and guts than I will ever have. I’m just not that brave.
That seemed to stop her in her tracks, probably as she couldn’t disagree. The thing is over the last few years I have accepted that I may never have a child and have realised that I am fine with it. She asked if I get broody? Of course I do. I have moments of wanting nothing more than to feel that unconditional surrender but then it goes back into the never-never jar, along with my lingerie modelling career.
I’d make one hell of an aunt though
April 30th, 2008 at 12:52 am
Interesting… Webcam comments… Nearly had a go then bottled it ! LOL
Scott’s last blog post..UKMac.net Upgraded To Wordpress 2.5.1
April 30th, 2008 at 3:45 am
That worthless feeling I get sometimes right before my period. So that is probably hormonal. Not sure about the rest… I feel for you. I do.
Nat’s last blog post..Attack of the viral nose snot
April 30th, 2008 at 3:47 am
I totally get you.
Hilly’s last blog post..Cherries Taste Better When Someone Else Plucks Them!
April 30th, 2008 at 3:48 am
Sorry. Just read the other blog entry. The cramping might be from the internal… I know I had wicked cramping after mine.
As for kids, I wish people would stop with it all. It’s just such a rude thing to say… gah!
Nat’s last blog post..Attack of the viral nose snot
April 30th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I’d say it’s a combination of the internal exam and the drugs. Some of those hormonal drugs can be nasty but stick with it, the side effects do ease. I really feel for you right now. I’ve been in your shoes and it isn’t pleasant. Take it as easy as you can.
Selma’s last blog post..Winners Are Grinners!
April 30th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Scott - ah the webcam comments… they don’t work for the iSight. Hopefully they’ll fix this soon and then my ugly mug will be being lazy and answering comments this way instead!
Nat - I really hope so. Today was snappy bitch day!
Hilly - It’s good to know I’m not totally losing it!
Nat - The cramps have mostly gone today so I’m beginning to suspect it may have been the prodding and probing. I get the kids thing a lot. I am (apparently) good with kids so I think people assume I must want them for myself. Nooooooo…
Selma - today was a better day. Wanted less to rip people’s heads off. Have been finding my calm centre and staying there! Taking it easy is what I want to do - has to come in the middle of a busy busy period though!
Bec’s last blog post..More Like Full Frontal
April 30th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Works on my iSight Bec !
Scott’s last blog post..UKMac.net Upgraded To Wordpress 2.5.1
April 30th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
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Scott’s last blog post..UKMac.net Upgraded To Wordpress 2.5.1
April 30th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
Scott - still nothing on mine but am waving back. Will play at a time when I am able to concentrate on anything… well, anything at all!
Bec’s last blog post..More Like Full Frontal
April 30th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Bec, when the flash Approve/Deny window pops up you need to click on the webcam tab at the bottom and change the default selection from Firewire Video to USB Class Video. Once you have done this you should see yourself appear…
Scott’s last blog post..UKMac.net Upgraded To Wordpress 2.5.1
May 4th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
[...] …made less sense than usual; [...]