Another Trip to the Doctors
Today I got to spend a fortune dashing back and forth to the doctors to see the nurse. Again. Had a blood pressure test (oh, it’s still high) and an ECG.
She stuck the point pads on my ankles, wrists and then all over my chest. I hate lying back on those examination tables at the best of times but being prodded and poked in the, well, boob area really is not my idea of a cup of Earl Grey.
When she got the ECG machine out, with it’s multitude of wires hanging down my geek brain leapt like a new born salmon and my ‘let’s lighten the mood with a crap joke’ thing kicked in.
"Plugging me up to the Matrix are you?"
She stopped, looked at me like I had just lost my mind and the continued on, obviously deciding I wasn’t dangerous enough to be dragged off to a padded cell.
The test itself was short and sweet, the machine beeped in a regular and non scary fashion and she didn’t make any faces of horror.
(I, apparently when plugged in, am living a parallel life to my one in the real world (assuming this is the real world . How typical.)
I find out my results to this particular affair next week! BUT, the nurse did tell me there is nothing acute going on so we can take imminent death back off the schedule.
She started to take all the pads off again but the two on my ankles had decided they really liked where they were and became difficult about coming off. Later on I discovered some of the sticky glue stuff was still on my ankle and had been holding my trouser leg in place all day. Even better though, when I was getting undressed for bed tonight I found one of the pads still attached to me under my right breast. Lovely. My own personal souvenir of the event. Which I have now thrown away,
But because the unwritten rule is that you must come away from the doctors feeling worse than you did when you went in I missed one of the steps coming out and have done a weird twisty thing to my back, jarring it in some way so it now hurts like, well like everyone’s favourite four letter word beginning with F.
So roll on Gynaecology on Thursday!
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The nurse didn’t appreciate your Matrix joke? But you are “The One”! Whoa.
Avitable’s last blog post..Please don’t read this.
I don’t think nurses appreciate any kind of jokes. I am like you, Bec, when I go to the doctor I find myself making flippant, jokey remarks all over the place. The last time I had a blood test I said :”At least I know it’s red.” And when I had a pap smear I just had to say:”You’re not seeing me from my best side.” Why do I do that? It’s so embarrassing. Good luck with the next round of tests.
Selma’s last blog post..A Little Bit About Me
Fudge is a five letter word.
I knew there was a reason I avoid going to the doctors. I generally apply the ‘if I ignore it it will go away’ method.
Avitable - I nearly shoved a blue pill up her unmentionable so she would go back to dream land.
Selma - I do it to fill in the awkward silences that fall while they are trying to do their job. I am really going to need it tomorrow - gynaecology!
yorksdevil - And that’s why fudge is everyone’s favourite five letter word beginning with F. I’ve been applying that method for a couple of years which is why I now have weekly appointments at places of torture and hell!
Bec’s last blog post..Cold Shower
I absolutely HATE it when people don’t get my movie references or quotes. Happens to me all the time, especially with sci-fi stuff. my hubby’s the only one I can count on to get them.
Simply Jane’s last blog post..I always shut my eyes
Simply Jane - I sometimes fell like I should come with my own subtitles!