I’m not ‘boring’. I’m English.
Archive for March, 2008
Glide Through Air
Mar 21st
Had I ever got round to doing my 100 Things (which you never know I might get completed at some point) one of them certainly would have been:
I love watching ice skating.
I freakin’ love it. To the point where I will drag myself through slightly cheesy Disney films about it just to see the pure elegance of it all.
I don’t know what it is about it – the high passion, the pure drama of it all? The fact that the dancers have to be HAVE TO BE 100% in the moment, that the slightest little error and disaster.
These almost ethereal creatures floating across the ice, sparkling with ease and emotion, filling our hearts with… something truly magical. A but much? Maybe.
So I must love Dancing On Ice? Why no. I can’t stand it. Hate is a word I don’t like to use, but it fits pretty well. Seeing ex-second-rate “celebrities” I barely remember stumbling all over the ice makes me want to throw things at the tv… I want elegance and pureness, not ‘oops’ and high pitched laughter in the post ‘disaster’ interview. I want Bolero and Face The Music and Dance not whatsername barely walking across the ice.
Snob? Me? Hell yes.
I was watching the World Figure Skating Championships this afternoon and watched Mao Asada fall during her free skating and then come back from it to win. And I was feeling all kinds of emotion during it. Ridiculous pride for her, envy at her grace and determination and wonder at her strength, both physical and emotional.
And, yes, a small giggle when she slid across the floor.
Does this make me a bad person? Ah, who cares. I’m off to watch the Ice Princess again.
Always Clean Your Nails
Mar 20th
Just a short post.
Read this. It made me laugh.
Well, anything with the phrase;
They want people to have what they call “well-maintained” whips.
in it is sure to raise a smile.
Talk about Health & Safety gone mad.
And now a meme stolen from Karl and Hilly
Here’s how it works:
1. Go to www.photobucket.com
2. Type in your answer to the question in the “search” box
3. Use only the first page
4. Insert the picture into your Blog
1.) What is your relationship status?
2.) What is your current mood?
3.) Who is your favorite band/artist?
4.) What is your favorite movie?
5.) What kind of pet do you have?
6.) Where do you live?
7.) Where do you work?
8.) What do you look like?
9.) What do you drive?
10.) What did you do last night?
11.) What is your favorite TV show?
12.) Describe yourself.
13.) What are you doing today?
14.) What is your name?
15.) What is your favorite candy?
25
Mar 19th
Apology No. 265
Mar 18th
I was going to find a cute picture with a bunny saying sorry but instead…
(Yes, I do look like crap)
I did not want to, or mean to offend anyone with yesterday’s post. I hope we are all, y’know, okay… I mean coming out as a Conservative who supports a Democrat… what the holy hell was that about? It would be safer to play Russian Roulette with a sub-machine gun!
Just a quick question (doing a little seeing if it’s a good fundraising idea) – how much would you be willing to pay for these items in an auction?
Speaking of crazy people – if you have a spare half hour read this and marvel at how totally tapped Heather ‘water thrower’ Mills really is. You and I both know how much I hate ‘celebrity’ news but this just makes me laugh. It is, as a good friend said, ‘Car Crash Television’ but in a legal setting.
And if you have only a spare two minutes read this instead. You won’t regret it!
Lifting
Mar 17th
I never never never thought I’d say this.
Never.
But a politician has made me feel better. Hopeful. Starting to believe in a better tomorrow. And I’m only on page 25 of his book.
Yes. His book. For I picked up The Audacity of Hope at the weekend. And today at lunch was the first chance I had to read it. Yes, I didn’t get very far but, to be honest, he had me at the end of the Prologue.
He has ideas. Ideas. And I think we can all admit we need a few ideas. I like the fact that he has admitted that he, or any politician for that matter, can’t solve all the world’s problems… but ideas. Yes.
And before you say anything. I know I live in the UK and I have no voice when it comes to choosing the next President but please, Americans, please remember that you are not just choosing your leader, you are choosing the person who decides the direction of our economy and foreign policy too.
Our current leader’s balls are kept in separate jars on the desks of two people – his wife’s and George Bush’s. (I wonder if Bush has let Tony have his back yet?) We will be stuck with Gordon ‘The Moron’ Brown until at least 2010 so that’s at least a year the next President will have to lead his around by his todger.
I can’t wait for 2010 when David Cameron kicks your sorry arse, Brown. There, I’ve shown my roots. Well, how could I not when the Conservative logo is this – 
Right, was going to finish this up with a meme but the book is calling me back. Me? Sleep? Not likely!
Party Stress
Mar 16th
So, the mood I was in last night and what followed seem to be completely unrelated, and as a dear friend of mine would say – just another sign that I have, in fact, completely lost my marbles.
About a half hour after I posted yesterday I was wearing a dress, heels, matching jewellery and make up on. I left the house and dashed down to the site causing me a small portion of my current stress. My parent’s Silver Wedding Anniversary party. When it comes to things like this I can get a little freakish in the control of’ department. Just a little. And so so many things are not in your control (like whether or not anyone shows, whether they have a good time, will anyone be horrendously allergic to the food and die on the dancefloor therefore creating the wrong kind of memories) that I prefer to not be the one throwing the party. Attending is enough of a stress as then it’s all personal stuff (will I be the only one I know, will I end up with my dress tucked in my knickers post loo visit, will I be the only one dressed up and therefore look like a nonce in the middle of lots of hip casually dressed people?).
Anyway, I arrived, spoke to the barstaff and manager of the place we were holding it (who I’m sure think of me now as ‘crazy stresshead woman’; spoke to and paid the DJ (who seemed to know what he was doing and, I guess, was training someone else – or who had a groupie); and then downed my very first double Southern Comfort and lemonade of the night.
Several embarrassing things happened to my parents throughout the night which mortified them in many ways but they had a good time; which was the only thing that really matters; and no one died. I saw people I know in a different light. There were an extraordinary large amount of comments about the fact that I have legs and boobs from those who usually only see me in combat pants and Artificial Duck t-shirts.
The Cube, the wonderful place in Kirkham where we held the do, was MAGNIFICENT. The food, the staff, the venue, the whole kit and kaboodle were excellent and if, anyone is looking for someone to hold an event, do it there. Do it there, oh, do it there.
Next year I get to host two more parties – Dad’s 60th and Mum’s 50th. Lovely.
But, yes, I am sorry for yesterday. 10 more days to ‘results’ day and 25 days until 30. I can feel Carousel approaching…
Spontaneous Combustion
Mar 15th
I get so angry, and I have no idea why. It’s like there is a river of lava running through my body. I have always run hot but at the moment I feel like I should be burning up.
The most ridiculous things are those that make me want to scream. And I have no outlet at the moment. No place to let it all out.
I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
11 more days until (please God) I find out what is wrong with me. No pressure, oh Doctor of mine, but I have to know. You have to give me answers. You have to provide me with reasons why I am so… hopeless. Please let it be something that there is a magic tonic for.
I can’t even cry at the moment. Tears look so stupid on someone who has nothing real to cry about. But the pressure is building up – you want to know why I’m so big? It’s the hatred and the anger and the pain inside pushing to get out.
People are always going to let you down. People are always going to hurt you unintentionally. People are always going to disappoint.
All of the colour is disappearing out of my life again. I haven’t felt this unworthy and helpless in such a long time.
I’m not even sure I will post this. I’m not sure I can.
I haven’t had to put the mask on this tightly in a while. But today has to be perfect. I’m going to need super-glue to make sure there is no slippage.
Ha, iTunes has me again. (Nice Dream) by Radiohead.
Mood Swing
Mar 14th
Today was good and then horrible and then okay and then awful then ‘meh’ then teeth clenchingly bad and back itchingly irritating.
Welcome to the world of pissy Bec.
It’s one of those when I felt like a narked off cat. I had my claws out and wanted to bite everyone… but still wanted someone to scratch my ears…
I was too hot by half even when everyone else was complaining about the cold.
I wanted to talk when everyonewas enjoying the silence.
I wanted to laugh when everyone else was being cynical.
I needed to cry and have someone hold me when the world was prickling round me.
And I’ve screwed up. I trusted a colour chart online, and the t-shirts have arrived in a colour that in no way correlates to what was on screen. The t-shirts are bright red. How does that correspond with Cardinal (top row), which is exactly the colour we needed. In a way it doesn’t matter what colour these ones are as they are the size testers, but it just made me feel useless.
I can’t seem to get anything right at the moment. Which makes me afraid for the other things I’ve arranged recently.
Idiot
Mar 13th
After my smuggery about not being a car owner yesterday I am seriously reconsidering my position. If I owned my very own shiny metal box then I wouldn’t have to risk my life by sharing a long public shiny metal box (sometimes called a bus) with complete morons.
There is a very clear sign at the front which says something along the lines of:
Oi, you people, that are sitting there. Do us, and yourselves, a favour and leave the bus driver alone – he/she has to concentrate on the road as there are lots of other vehicles and people out there. So, don’t distract him unless you really have to. Anything from a heart attack up is fine.
So, what the sweet mother of all that is holy and holey did the stupid tart in too tight fashionable ripped jeans think she was playing at when she was showing the driver the tattoo she had got on her shoulder? He had already nearly rear-ended two cars and a double decker bus whilst she was talking to her.
One lady dropped her shopping bag during one of these near misses causing a fruit escape; and the guy behind me fell forwards hurting his wrist. I dropped my book, losing my place.
She, in a loud voice straight out of Chav town, yelled at the other driver calling him a ‘wanker‘ and flipped onhim the finger. Lovely decorum – she clearly went to a high class hooker finishing school.
It made me wish that this were true.
Oh, that, by the way is from the deliciously wonderful ‘A Softer World’ which has beautiful, sometimes chilling, but always poignant photo strips created by the massively talented Emily Halifax and Joey Corneau. It’s not often that anything like this will bring tears to me eyes but so so many of these have. It’s like a little emotion bomb everytime one drops into Bloglines. I cold wax lyrical about this site forever but instead I’m just going to direct you to the archives. Spend some time there – you won’t regret it.
One Person’s Good News
Mar 12th
My good news for the day is about a man who has lost a lawsuit. He claimed he tripped and fell because of a grape stuck on his shoe. He says the grape must have come from the Marks & Spencer’s store he just came out of. He tore a tendon in his leg which stopped him getting any new clients because of the depression caused by the injury and “loss of confidence”. He wanted, by the way, £300K for this.
He must now pay M&S’s costs of £15K; and, if I had my way, be banned from all M&S’s so he can never again enjoy their delicious food.
Tosser.
And according to the BBCs Budget Calculator I am now going to be about £44 a year worse off. This is mostly because I don’t own a car. I feel for you motorists, I really do. A tip for those who live/work in London and don’t own a hybrid – Sainsbury’s cheap baked beans taste less sugary than Asda’s. 
