Out Of My Tree

Today the office was a particular kind of quiet.  Yes, it may have just been a case of the ‘Mondays’ ‘Tuesdays’ ‘Wednesdays’ or it could have had something to do with there being an almost constant management from, well, the managers.

I was pushing Charlie Wilson’s War a little but not too much.  I have a mentionitus campaign ready and prepared.  But I really wanted to talk to someone ANYONE about the keynote last night.  I spent the entire time thinking about how I was going to raise the money for the Time Capsule, and the MacBook Air.  It would just look so pretty tucked under my arm!  I’ll admit fast forwarding through Randy Newman though.  There’s only so much rambling a girl can take!

The last hour of the day was spent looking busy’ – which I hate.  I would rather actually be busy, making the time disappear of it’s own accord.  Maybe I should start writing my blog at work!

It was so quiet you could hear a bird chirping in the trees outside.  It was sweet for the first 5 minutes but then after that it really started to grate.  We watched the traffic warden ticket cars for a little while.  That is always fun watching people rush out of the offices round the square and move the cars as she appears.  Now, there are two of them – it’s like everyone completed Level 1, and now are on Level 2 of the Traffic Warden Game.  So when EA runs out of Sports and Movie Tie-In’s and they release this – remember that you saw it here first. (5% of gross please… thank you).

I could barely keep my eyes open all day today.  All I want to do is lay my head down on my pillow and sleep.  The last thing I wanted to do was go in to work, and had I been living on my own I probably wouldn’t have done.  Does this mean my depression is rearing it’s ugly head?  I have a doctor’s appointment in 9 days.  Please, oh please, oh please let this one be competent.  Is it awful that I have written out a list of things I want answers/ diagnosis for?  Is it awful that I expect this one medical professional to sort out all my nonsense and make me feel healthy again?  I feel quite good about this one – various people have told me that she is very good -very thorough and professional.  That’s what I want.  Full M.O.T. please!

I am building myself up for a Diabetes diagnosis.  I kind of already know that may be part of it.  And I’m ‘almost’ fine with it – it’s something I could live with, just so long as I knew what was wrong with me.  Even if after tests and lots of sitting in waiting rooms a doctor turns to me and says ‘Brain Tumour’ or ‘Surgery’ or whatever – shock? Yes.  Panic?  Probably.  Melodrama?  Of course.  But relief?  Most definitely. It’s the constant not knowing what is wrong but knowing that something is wrong that is making me feel worse.  But that’s still 9 days away.  So, I am remaining positive at the moment.  But remaining positive is tiring so all I want to do is lay my head down on my pillow and sleep.