I’m not ‘boring’. I’m English.
Archive for December, 2007
Learning to Love Hanks.
Dec 11th
It’s my prerogative, No, this is not an ode to that Bobby Brown song but an notification of a potential changing of my mind. I have free will. Deep breath. I can (just about) admit I might be wrong…
About Tom Hanks.
I have blogged in the past about how I would like to slap the shit out of him just for being him, and how I will pretend he is someone else when I watch the films he is in (for he is in everything) and just generally about how he irritates the ever living crap out of me.
But.
I will, in the new year be taking myself off to the cinema to pay money to see a film he is in – Charlie Wilson’s War. There is really only one reason for me to do this – Aaron Sorkin wrote the script and the man is my Personal Jesus. Imagine my horror when I saw Hanks in a staring role. This, normally, would be enough to steer me into another film – anything. Even something starring Jessica Simpson and her ilk. But nothing, nothing is going to stop me seeing it.
Nothing.
So, I came up with a plan. Watch his movies again and just let it all go. You’ve Got Mail was up first last night and then Sleepless in Seattle was on one of the cable channels tonight. See? When I come up with a plan, the TV companies schedule round me! And, do you know what? They weren’t all that bad. In fact, they were quite… gulp… enjoyable. Yes, I know they’re meant to just make you feel good and are cheesy puff films or whatever else you cynical film freaks want to throw at me but… Green Mile. I like that… Da Vinci Code wasn’t bad (at least the film was more watchable that that pile of crap book). I loved Philadelphia. I will never, as long as I live enjoy Forrest Gump or Saving Private Ryan (except for the first 20 minutes) and (I know it’s almost sacrilege to admit this) Toy Story and it’s sequel can just gather dust on the shelf. But the rest? I’ll give them a go… Next the earlier stuff – the Hanks Classics – Turner & Hooch and Big.
And then after that I’ll try tackling another one on my ‘annoying’ list. Another Tom. Cruise.
Gifties IV (There’s a Song in my Heart)
Dec 10th
There’s a song in my heart today, and not just because I no longer have to think about re-rerecording that bloody song. It has been a long but understated functional day today. I got nothing real done at work again because I still can’t log in but let the chips fall where they may… At least I got to yell at a helpdesk! Oh, the yelling felt good!
And then I took a couple of parcels and the first lot of cards to the post office – even queueing felt good! The look on the counter-lady’s face as she counted my ‘to parts foreign’ mail was enough to put a smile on my face for the rest of the day!
I had a lovely conversation with a couple of fellow bus sufferers at the stop and then again on the bus, as we all clubbed together to complain warm heartedly, and almost nostalgically, about the buses being 20 minutes to half an hour late. Oh, the complaining felt good!
And then, to top it all off, a Scout committee meeting where the question was asked, do we need a website? Yes! I yelled raising my hands to the ceiling before shouting ‘Hallelujah! Praise the lord!’ and jazz-handing my way round a smile. An accord was come to – if I can figure out a way to make money on the website then we shall make a concerted effort with it – any ideas people?
It’s Like Cats Screeching… Tone Deaf Cats…
Dec 9th
Spending the day in bed. That was my plan. Me and my duvet and my Mac… and maybe a mug of something caffeinated.
That was the plan.
But as we all know plan’s are only the foundation for the insanity of life or something like that. So, it was up just in time for lunch, watched Revenge of the Sith (It was the only DVD we could all agree on) and then onwards with a little Christmas card writing… and then a little more… and then Attack of the Clones was on TV, and it felt rude not to watch it… Dinner followed and then it was hanging around waiting for Top Gear to start. And that was it. Honest.
But that’s not what this post is about. It’s about the small matter of me recording a song ready for the 2007 Christmahanukwanzaakah Holiday Concert which will be played tomorrow… I am sorry. No let me try that again.
I am TRULY sorry.
I used to be quite good at all that but… I have no idea what happened! Maybe I should be writing this after you have heard it – give you all a chance to be nice… no no no no no… earplugs will be required. I have performed on stag a number of times and was in a church choir for about 150 years. I know my way round a piece of sheet music like no body else… but the song I decided to do (The Christmas Song (Chestnut’s Roasting…)) I no longer have the sheet music for… and, well, listening to the recording I have (which, of course, is Nat King Cole ) to learn the melody for the third verse was… what’s the word I’m looking for… hard. I couldn’t get the damn thing to stick. I’d have it and sing it perfectly without any recording or backing music but as soon as I’d put it all together it became as slippery as a freshly caught, well, slippery fish.
And then the cough started. The damn recording was only 2 and a half minutes long but every 2 minutes or so my throat would spasm… and I would have to start again. Of the 37 (this is not an exaggeration) recordings I made today, only 2 had no cough… and one of those was flat.
I really should have recorded it yesterday. Hindsight and the Shoulda Woulda Coulda’s are in town!
Right, I’m going to go drink a bottle of scotch with Frank, Dean and Sammy and then hit the sack…
Foiled
Dec 8th
I have no excuses (well, I do, but they’re not good ones). I’ve got nothing. There was Robin Hood and a couple of glasses of wine and writing Christmas cards and then someone put a Pirates DVD on and then I decided to rejig the theme for Christmas (I’ll fix it in a minute) and now there is 1 minute left before midnight.
I’m sorry. I’ll post better tomorrow. I promise.
That Friday Feeling
Dec 7th
More coffee in the ‘bucks finished off the worst day ever. I spent all day doing something I normally enjoy – putting up Christmas decorations. I volunteered for the task. yes, volunteered… that usually goes so well for me…
Armfuls of tinsel and baubles, 6 artificial trees, lights, and other assorted nonsense – none of which matched – became 7 rooms worth of decorations… I have only to string and hang 60 baubles up the stairs and then I am finished.
The problem with it all was – well, I was at work. You know, work that place where you are supposed to contribute something to whichever company you are employed by… but because I still have no login to get into the systems, and me using someone else’s means they have to stop working it is just easier to have me do things like the decorating.
I felt useless… and this was agitated by a total lack of understanding why things are done in a certain way… They just don’t make any sense to me. Frustration and a little cry to myself… Not a good day.
Hence the grande coffee.
Then came the bit I just love – waiting at a freezing cold bus stop (because in my rush to get out of there I left my coat behind meaning the only thing stopping the cold getting to me was my suit) with the rain sheeting down… and having the bis be half an hour late. I was starting to lose the feeling in my fingers – Brass Monkeys doesn’t even begin to cover it!
The thing was by the time the bus arrived I was just so happy to see it that I forgot to be angry.
And the thing is tonight was just so relaxing I am fine about going back on Monday. I have to stop getting so involved and act like what I am – a temp.
Gifties III (Or Weirdness and Concern)
Dec 6th
So, today it rained more than it has rained here in quite some time. I did the drowned rat look on the way to work and again on the way home… but my hair feels weirdly silky smooth. Maybe the acid rain we were all terrified about and you currently never hear about has turned into conditioning rain?
Who knows?
I have been listening to a lot of Jonathan Coulton lately. I honestly believe this explains some of the amazingly good mood I’ve been experiencing (Yes, the job helps and getting out of the house and things, but percentage wise JC gets a large slice of the pie! (Note to brother: If you really loved me you would buy me this – it’s like an investment in my future happiness!)
So, filled with the joy that is being brought to me by the music I have hopped all over the internet looking for inspiration for todays post and i found a small bundle – there’s something for everyone… I think!
As part of the continuing viral marketing for Cloverfield (or whatever the hell it is going to be called) this video has appeared on the Slusho website as part of a competition. I’m not going to drivel on about what I think it all means because I really believe that dear ol’ JJ is just laughing his ass off at the world… My favourite part? The last few frames with the monkey carrying a ‘cheese flag’ – makes me smile in a WTF? way…
More X-Files 2 news which is concerning me. The good bit of it – Amanda Peet (Studio 60) has been cast as an FBI agent, my concern is with her partner, Xzibit… (‘Pimp My UFO?’ – tabloids you can have that headline for free) And if that wasn’t bad enough – Scottish ‘comedian’ Billy Connelly has been cast too. I rushed to IMDB and hunted to see if there was another one… There isn’t. Let’s hope he pulls another Mrs Brown out of the bag. Yes, it’s an odd time for me – hoping that Billy is good, oh and hoping that Tom Hanks doesn’t screw up Charlie Wilson’s War for me.
Talking of penises. A man was rushed to hospital after getting a metal ring (cut from a pipe stuck on his. The fire brigade has to help him out – they used a mini hand grinder…
A mini hand grinder might be a good thing to get for Christmas bu these are better!
For the loaded Disney fan out there – a 1932 original poster for The Wayward Canary.
Mounted on paper and lovingly touched up, hang it on the wall for only $35,000 ($70791)!
Staying with a Disney theme (it’s all about loose connections today so bear with me!) How would you like your own Flying Monkeys?
A set of two (to fling at your nearest and dearest can be purchased for £9.95 ($17.91)
Right that’s me done… The rain has started again!
Pathetically short post.
Dec 5th
Day four of barely any sleep and my brain has given up. Insomnia is not as much fun as it used to be.
Have just watched the last episode of Heroes Season 1 and my tired mind is now trying to figure out how long season 2 will take to download. Boy, that was a bit good! So glad they didn’t kill off Sylar…
Actually, that’s a point – am most of the current seaons of things will be split down the middle – will it be season and 2a or will they just make season 2 and 3 short ones? Or will the strike get sorted out quickly? Hahahaha… How is the TV at the moment, America?
Am going to bed now as am tired. It’ll be worth it even if I do wake up at silly o’clock in the morning. Although am obviously more something than the other night – not so many spelling mistakes!
Good night one and all.
Gifties II (What Is Wrong With ‘Just a Coffee’)
Dec 4th
Another perfect day at work… Today I was given keys and the code to the office alarm – a sure fire sign that they don’t want to get rid of me so I can relax… Well not relax, but, you know… Oh shut up Bec!
Shut up was something I wish I could have told the annoying couple in front of me in the coffee line today. We had all been in the queue for at least a couple of minutes due to the barista they were training and the fact that they were closing an hour earlier tonight. I don’t know about the rest of you but I always know what I want as soon as I walk in or at the very least join the queue and lay eyes on the board. You get prepared and then you order and move on in a polite fashion. And today I wanted the creamy looking gingerbread latte and a cranberry and orange muffin. The only thing standing in my way was the couple in front:
Long Suffering Barista: I’ll have just a coffee
Girly Girl: That’s not what you want.
LSB: Yes, it is.
GG: You are in Starbucks. You can’t order just a coffee
Barista: It’s okay, I know what you mean.
LSB: Thank you…
GG: You have to order a latte, or a caffe Americano or whatever blend you want
LSB: Coffee with milk.
GG: (to the Barista) It’s okay, he never comes in proper coffee shops – he means a Latte…
Barista: (with a half smile, to LSB) A coffee with steamed milk, or ordinary milk?
LSB: Ordinary
Barista: An Americano…
LSB: Yes. Just a coffee. Anyway, do you want anything to drink?
GG: I don’t know what I want.
LSB: You said something about one of the Christmas coffees…
GG: Yeah… (to the Barista who looks like she wants to leap over the counter) Is the Crème Brûlée latte fattening?
It was at that point that thee armed ninjas (called by some hidden button) leapt out of the back and bundled her into a used coffee bean bag. Her boyfriend drank his coffee and skipped out of the Starbucks. I watched him go while I read my book for half an hour and then got the bus home safe in the knowledge another selfish bitch has been removed from my caffeine temple.
Right another cheap/expensive duo for your perusal and potential gift givage!
These are things to keep you and your love one’s warm…
Yes, it’s the onesie for adults! Available for people from 4’6″ to 6’2″ in a variety of body shapes! Available in a million (ish) colours and patterns. They have non slip feet! And they start at a mere $39.95 (£19.41). And, yes, they ship worldwide!
And while you are wearing your onesies you’re going to need something to do! So… after you’ve done that you’ll need to eat, drink or something, and what better for that than a hamper? This is a Fortnum And Mason Tercenturian Hamper filled with goodies like Baron de Lustrac – Armagnac 1900, Side of Smoked Scottish Wild Salmon, Cropwell Bishop Whole Baby Stilton, Beluga Caviar and a William Yeoward Caviar Glass Dish.
This and about 50 other items are presented in a three-tiered English willow hamper set and will set you back only £20,000 ($41,151)
Oh, and a cranberry and orange muffin.
Working 9 to 5
Dec 3rd
…is my way to make a living at the moment. And if the first day is any indication I think I’m gonna like it here! The people I share the office with are lovely, and the other people who work there are also glorious. Of course, I have no idea what I am doing, have no login for the computer system and no space on my desk, but I don’t feel like my head is going to explode!
The day started off with the most glorious skies – they were like something out of Gone With The Wind, a Technicolor dream.
which put me in a good mood for the rest of the day. I feel as if the work I am doing is contributing to something. And this is pretty much all I want at the moment.
After work finished to keep my good mood going I went for a wander round the Shopping Centre, gazing at the lights and all the various prettiness, windows shopping my way through Christmas – I think I finally have an idea what to get Mum, but still no clues for Dad – any ideas?
Then I walked up to the Flag Market and was amazed by the sight of the Ferris Wheel parked right in the middle. In my head, I was ooo-ing at all the lights
(even though it would have been nice to be able to get a full frontal shot of the Harris Museum.
Then I went for a quick look at the Nativity Scene the council wheels out every year before running (well, walking swiftly) for the bus.
Sleep will come easily tonight – using your brain all day is hard!
Just Perfection Herself
Dec 3rd
The last time I nominated a Perfect Post Award was back in June and I had constant internet. Now I hve it back and the post I have nominated this time has reminded me why I love the internet and the blogosphere particularly.
Miss Britt is one of those people I probably would have followed round after at High School, or at the very least wanted to be friends with. A little irreverent, extremely funny, extremely fun, sincere and articulate. Genius.
The post I have nominated is A Glass House With A View which made me delurk and comment. Amongst other things it discusses us women and how we treat other and it made me think about how the double standard thing applies. I really sat back and looked at what I was doing in my real life and in my blogging life. It made me think about why, although I was reading this fantastic blog and having things to say n my head I was terrified of being rejected and told to, in no uncertain terms, ‘go away’. Was I because of my usual rejection issues or was it because of my past experience with other women and the way we generally put each other through the crapper as much as possible? Either way, I thought enough is enough and threw up a comment.
I don’t know how the rest of you feel but sometimes when you are a reading a blog and you realise that what you have just read has made you change the way you think about yourself, it really makes you realise how powerful this medium is (and, please god, not how stupid that sentence was) and how lucky we all are to be able to see into people’s heads this way.
Anyway, just thought I’d mention it.
The Perfect Post Awards as always are brought to us by the gorgeous and fantastic Kimberly and Lindsay as well as the letters ‘P’ and ‘G’ and the number 12
