One of the things about the job I am doing is I get to read reports and hear about, straight from the horse’s mouth sometimes, the horrible things people do to one another. It’s a situation I’ve never really found myself in before. I mean, you hear stuff on the news or are many degrees of separation removed from what x has done to y who did z to their kid but never have I had to be in a situation where I have come face to face with x or y.
I always wondered what I would do in such a situation. Part of me thought I would, you know, give ‘em what for, let them know how disgusting they were, tell them exactly what was wrong with them and direct them towards the nearest bridge to jump off - which I realised I would never do because, well, I’m far too much of a chicken to and when people are that disgusting what would me telling them that they are accomplish (other than me getting a smack in the mouth?)
There was another part of me that thought I was too jaded to get upset about things like that. I was both surprised and relieved to find out that this wasn’t the case.
Some nights I have come home and just wanted to cry. I have had to wipe away a tear of sympathy or anger at work too, and sometimes it can be difficult to get through typing up the reports. But you just have to get on with it and that’s all I have to do. The people I have respect for are the counsellors, the social workers, the mediators, the solicitors and… well x and y’s family members who don’t do z to them when it all comes out.
I don’t even know why I’m mentioning it today - just feeling a bit wibbly… A bit over-emotional about things. This is what I get for watching The Neverending Story.
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December 16th, 2007 at 8:18 am
Don’t know if you know this, but i’m a mental health nurse working for a crisis team (the people your GP or A&E will ring if they think you are suicidal or psychotic)
I had to try and persuade someone not to kill himself the other night because his wife left him. His wife left him because he used to regularly beat her and hold a knife to her throat.
I work with the child abusers and the people who have abused. I basically hear every unpleasant thing that people do to each other. And because I have to maintain theraputic relationships I’m supposed not to be judgemental (impossible of course).
I can usually leave most of what happens at work, and don’t generally dwell on things at work. when i’m directly involved in child protection cases though I’ve been known to have a sleepless night or two.
December 16th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
I am not as cynical as I let on, but in cases like these I feel that I have to be. People are innately horrible (some of them) and I’ve become desensitized enough to just shrug it off and go about my day. I mean, unless it is truly horrific.
I guess that the best advice is that you leave it out in the world when you shut your door after you come home. Your house is your safe haven, where you can just tell the creepies to get lost!
December 16th, 2007 at 4:22 pm
Dan - and now my respect for you just grows and grows. Honestly, everyday must just be mind blowing. At least you can go home at the end of the day, kiss your kids and your wife and know that there is a corner of the world where everything is fine. Dan. You really do rock in a quite dramatic way.
Hilly - That’s what I’m trying to do. It’s just… it’s Christmas. Cessation of hostilities and all that and still and still… Am closing the door and letting it go… Glass of sherry and Christmas decorations!