More coffee in the ‘bucks finished off the worst day ever. I spent all day doing something I normally enjoy - putting up Christmas decorations. I volunteered for the task. yes, volunteered… that usually goes so well for me…
Armfuls of tinsel and baubles, 6 artificial trees, lights, and other assorted nonsense - none of which matched - became 7 rooms worth of decorations… I have only to string and hang 60 baubles up the stairs and then I am finished.
The problem with it all was - well, I was at work. You know, work that place where you are supposed to contribute something to whichever company you are employed by… but because I still have no login to get into the systems, and me using someone else’s means they have to stop working it is just easier to have me do things like the decorating.
I felt useless… and this was agitated by a total lack of understanding why things are done in a certain way… They just don’t make any sense to me. Frustration and a little cry to myself… Not a good day.
Hence the grande coffee.
Then came the bit I just love - waiting at a freezing cold bus stop (because in my rush to get out of there I left my coat behind meaning the only thing stopping the cold getting to me was my suit) with the rain sheeting down… and having the bis be half an hour late. I was starting to lose the feeling in my fingers - Brass Monkeys doesn’t even begin to cover it!
The thing was by the time the bus arrived I was just so happy to see it that I forgot to be angry.
And the thing is tonight was just so relaxing I am fine about going back on Monday. I have to stop getting so involved and act like what I am - a temp.
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Tags: , christmas, ddecorations, rain
December 8th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
I contract a lot (same thing as temping long-term) and one thing I have had to realize is that it takes people extra long to warm up to someone that they don’t know whether they are going to be a part of the family or not. I’ve also learned that they NEVER have my PC ready and that they also expect me to be doing something to earn my pay when I have no means to do so.
Even though I know these things, I still have that feeling inside that makes me want to drive back home and tell them all to go away. It’s natural to want to belong and it’s natural to feel “off” when they don’t make you feel like you do.
I just keep my eye on the money ;).
December 8th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
Hilly - my mantra is “Money money money” at the moment… Alternated occasionally with “end of March” - when the contract ends! By which time, of course, I will have either a) become jaded and one of them, or b) lost my mind and killed them all…
December 11th, 2007 at 10:47 am
Yeah give it time. Temping’s a funny old thing, the place where I was last week I got really fond of towards the end, plus the perks if I’d stayed a bit longer would have been great. But why the end I was actually ready to stop doing the shitty jobs and the more i temp, the more I want to get stuck into a job I love.
December 11th, 2007 at 11:29 pm
Jo - it’s a little better this week. I’m going the ‘less emotionally connected’ route, the ‘just get it done’ route, the 11 weeks and counting route. I can see light at the end of the tunnel and this time it’s not a train!