Out Of My Tree

On a day when the biggest news in the UK is yet another almighty cock-up by our illustrious leaders, I have to say this - God, I am proud to be British.

For those of you who haven’t watched the news, or who don’t live in the ‘best country ever’ this is a brief summary of what happened.

To apply for benefits/welfare/whatever you want to call it - you have to fill in a form that is about 4000 pages thick and asks for every piece of information about yourself that you can think of (Question 962 - where did you go on holiday when you were 4, and what flavour, if any, ice cream did you eat?) including your name, address, date of birth and, oh yeah, your bank details.  You know all that info you protect so that nasty identity thieves don’t get there hands on it and rip you off.  If you are applying for benefits for your children all their information goes on the forms - you know the information that you wouldn’t want any bad men getting their hands on like their names, addresses and dates of birth.

All of this is recorded and kept on huge databases by the HMRC (Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs) who dole out (usually the wrong amount of) money and don’t check facts (this links to a video). These databases now contain the details of 25million people, approximately 7.25million families…

They were put onto a disk (well, presumably series of disks) and sent to another office by ‘normal’ post - not recorded in any way.  They never arrived.  They are in fact, what’s the word?

Lost. 

Genius.

Oh, it gets worse.  So the details of 25million of your public are out there (granted on password protected disks but, oh, come on!) so what do you do?

You say nothing for 10 days…

Not a bloody word.

Great.

And they want to bring in ID Cards?!  Most people, right now, are thinking that their government is crazy…  We want a bloody election and we want it now!

In other news -  Billie Piper (yes, Rose from Doctor Who) is up for a porn award!

And I leave you on that note…

Today was the Queen, and Prince Philip’s Diamond Wedding Anniversary.  To celebrate they did was any other couple who has been married for 60 years does - black tie dinner with the family and get 2,000 people to go to Westminister Abbey.  The service was broadcast on the trusty BBC with solemn tones speaking about how the Queen (then, of course, Princess Elizabeth) had to save rations coupons to get the material together for her dress and how one of the choirboys dropped his service sheet in a puddle when he ran outside after the wedding…

It was all rather moving, they played a recording of her saying her vows, and the bridesmaids talked about how they thought Philip was rather ‘dishy’.  I shed a little tear as they walked into the Abbey and the choir sang.

They might be crazy and scandal ridden but there is something in me that just loves our quiet and tasteful monarchy.  And anyone who makes it to 60 years and is still married deserves anyone’s respect.

Oh and can I just add…

Damned Facebook, and its damn games!  Over the last two days I have spent hours playing Scrabulous (Scrabble) on Facebook with my brother.  He has beaten me soundly several times which has bruised my ego a little, until I discovered that the amazing and obscure words he has been kicking my arse with have been nothing more than luck of the draw!  It’s all because he has been using the dictionary function which allows you to try words (or as he is doing combinations of letters) until something valid comes up.  He had a day off today which was spent mostly helping Dad clear out the bedroom as they are having new furniture fitted next week - found some very very old photos of me which I will be scanning in and putting on Flickr, and here, some time over the next week.  I was almost cute as a baby!

So today was all about re-organising the garage so that all my stuff fit in there and the rest of the family could still get to their items.  In two hours the garage went from completely full to half empty (there would have been photos here but my brain wasn’t awake enough to remember to take them).  I put two shelving units together to house my books inside, as after a roof collapse damp paper disaster a few years ago there was no way NO WAY I was risking them again.

And all my DVDs came in too so there are now two copies of Star Wars and Pirates of the Carribean in, and as far as I’m concerned the DVD five star rating on the house has gone up dramatically too.

There is something strangely satisfying about making it all fit, seeing the wall of items balanced carefully, knowing that everything is delicately arranged and that the everyday items in the garage are still accessible.

Except.  I know that at the bottom of that pile of stuff behind two layersof kitchen equipment and stacker boxes filled with bedding and nick-nackery is my CD collection.

As it is stored in water tight containers and is off the floor I thought it would be a splendid decision to leave it out there as when do I ever actually listen to my CDs now?  Once I’ve bought them and thrown them into my iTunes library they just take up space… But, well, last time I had a space issue on my MacBook hard drive (while compiling a DVD for some friends) I deleted most of the songs I have on CD… and never got round to putting them back.  Now, I know I should have just backed up my library and then stored the DVDs somewhere obvious but that would be the intelligent thing to do and… well… insert obvious statement here.

So, right now I am parked here with a real yanging to listen to The Fat of The Land by The Prodigy.  I don’t know why… but it may be mostly because I know that I can’t get to it without a lot of hassle.

Now I will be the first to admit that I am, and always will be the last to be picked for any sport’s team. I would be the right shape for a cracking game of rugby if, y’know, I didn’t have girl parts… Gymnastics is out because I look ridiculous in lycra, that goes for swimming - last time they called the RSPCA to come and rescue the beached whale (those slings - not as comfortable as they look).

Football/soccer/basketball etc - far too much running aroun and I’d really hate to let the side down by missing an open goal with 5 seconds to spare.

Tennis/squash/badminton - anything with small balls (go on crack the funny) is out because I invariably end up with bruises from either getting my body in the way of the ball or whacking myself in the nose with whatever bat I am carrying (true story). The bruises thing applies to dodgeball too - although I really do enjoy having an excuse to throw things at people.

So, imagine my surprise when a couple of days ago I was given the position of Quarterback in a new American Football team right here in the UK! The Huddersfield Chives managed, run and owned by Dan (who amazingly has time to run a blog!) has created the most exciting team filled with Quarterbacks and an Offensive Rear End.

Watch out (quick Google) you Dallas Cowboys and you (Google again) Washington Redskins, the Chives are a-coming!I mean, all I, and the other Quarterbacks have to do is look mean and throw the ball, right?

Are they the ones who do the numbers thing? Y’know twenty-one, forty-three, one hundred an two, ninety seven thousand six hundred and four hut hut?

Seriously though, I really really really must get into some kind of shape though as the marshmallow man thing I have got going on just isn’t cutting it in the fashion world anymore. Every piece of clothing out there for the ‘larger than your average bear’ is either unbelievably boring and something someone twice my age wold think was too old for them; looks like a tent, or is covered in bright stripes or patterns in colours only a lunatic or B-List Fashion Designer would put together.

I have , as one of my delightful male friends put it, a ‘great rack’ and most of thee tops out there seem to be able emphasising that and then being all over accommodating around the stomach area which doesn’t, as the designer’s seem to be believe, hide the spare tyre - it points out that you could re-shoe someone’s SUV but don’t really want to tell anyone because then all you’d do with your evening is get bothered by people asking you to sort out their cars… and, well, I’m hopeless at that!

Heh, I’ll figure it out. For the time being going for long walks seems to be the way to go - and it gives me the opportunity to practice taking photos… which then means I can drive you lot mad with envy at how lovely the countryside round here looks at the moment…

Look at that - a post about sports and fashion. Really must stop inhaling toner before blogging!

Rubbish small post for big huge thing.  On Children in Need tonight a mini episode of Doctor Who, Time Crash, will be/ has been shown… featuring my first Doctor, Peter Davison (as well as the delicious David Tennant)!  It’s only on the BBC website for the next seven days… To be found hereOkay, feel good now… only 1 month and 7 days to a new episode! Okay, life getting in the way of blogging today. Weekend here now!

Lame title I know but, oh, the joy, the sweet joy.  Normally I don’t get excited about video games but on the cover of new month’s Game Informer (a magazine I have never read) is a symbol that makes me all giddy. 

 The script for the game is being handled by Harold Ramis and Dan Ackroyd, the God’s behind the films and Bill Murray will be reprising his role as Pete Venkman (my first movie star crush)… and that’s all I know.  But that’s enough to make me smile.

The rest of my day was spent taking photo’s this morning like this one

and this…

(the rest, as usual, are on Flickr… oh, where would I be without Flickr?).  And then, in a vain effort to do something right, I offered to cook dinner.  I am not a bad cook… I just never seem to get it together in time… No, wait, if I am left alone I’m fine… You know?  So, a roast chicken was the plan…  and all would have been fine had the gas pressure not been down.  Anyway, no one died and the world didn’t end so it couldn’t have been that bad!  

I did spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about what I was going to put here today but came up with nothing.  But, Kevin saved me with a meme!

And that is what follows:

1. What were you afraid of as a child?

Clowns, being lost, the creature under the bed, ghosts, and strangers.

2. When have you been most courageous?

Allowing myself to fall in love with a guy at uni… following a horrendous relationship.

3. What sound most disturbs you?

The sound of silence.  The only time it is silent is when something really bad has happened.  Really bad.

4. What is the greatest amount of physical pain you’ve been in?

Having my foot crushed by a stone bench when I was 7. Sweet Jesus, that was painful

5. What’s your biggest fear for your children? (or children in general if you don’t have some of your own.)

That they never get to know what it truly is to love and be loved.

6. What is the hardest physical challenge you’ve achieved?

Three concerts on the same day lasting a total of 7 and a half hours.

7. Which do you prefer: Mountains or oceans/big water?

Purple mountain majesty.  I love the stillness and the strength.

8. What is the one thing you do for yourself that helps you keep everything together?

Give myself time to think and write everything down, whether it be here, in my personal journal or on the back of a bus ticket.

9. Ever had a close relative or friend with cancer?

Yes.  They were hard times.

10. What are the things your friends count on you for?

Installing broadband.

11. What is the best part of being in a committed relationship?

Knowing that you are no longer alone.

12. What is the hardest part of being in a committed relationship?

Knowing that you are no longer alone, and relying on it.

13. Summer or Winter? Why?

Winter.  It’s just too beautiful - the quiet before life begins again in Spring.

14. Have you ever been in a school-yard fight? Why and what happened?

Once.  There was hair pulling and name calling.  I was rubbish, I just let it happen and fell over.

15. Why blog?

To start off with it was just an ego thing but now it’s really cheap therapy.  You don’t know how many times this has stopped me doing something really stupid.

16. Did you learn about sex, and/or sex safety from your parents?

No.  No.  No.  I learned about sex from an older friend who knew ‘everything’ when I was about 8.  Sex safety came in the form of a book.

17. How do you plan to talk to your kids about sex and/or sex safety?

Kids… Having them… Issues… Let’s just say when my nieces/nephews come alone and ask me, Cool Aunt Bec, about sex I shall answer anything they want to know… because I think if you make it seem mysterious and forbidden it becomes more intriguing and then horrors abound.  Obviously I will advise them on safety and responsibility, but I think I’d be good at all that.

18. What are you most thankful for this year?

That I have got in contact with beloved people from my past and that I have started to get closure on some of the more painful parts of my life. 

Today is World Diabetes Day.  I have handed the blog over to my Mum, Alison, who has Type 2 Diabetes, to tell her story.  Also, head over to Karl’s for his.  Normal service resumed tomorrow.

About 11 years ago, during a standard medical for work it was noted that my blood sugar’s were high and there was sugars in my urine.  I was advised to go my GP and get a diabetes test.  I was very worried because I knew nothing about it.

My fears, however, were lifted when I was advised I could control it just by changing my diet.  I watched what I ate, followed the set diet religiously and began to feel a lot better.

Of course, because I started to feel better I assumed I could ‘cheat’ - have a glass of something or that incredibly tempting cream cake - and then I cheated a little more.

The kids tell me that it was genuinely frightening watching me suddenly ‘hypo’  - I would look as if I was going to loose consciousness and the orange juice would come out.  A couple of years down the line the doctor finally put me on a pill regime and things improved.  I have the occasional problem with cold hands, falling asleep in front of the TV (although I blame that on the rubbish that’s on) and now I have to wear reading glasses which I am constantly putting down and loosing!   

A few years ago I was given the choice of a new pill regime, or going onto an injection/pill mix.  I opted for the injections, which is a decision I do not regret.  I feel a lot better and it has made it all a lot more ‘real’.  It is all easier to control now.

Looking back I think I was probably diabetic from when I had my son, who is now 22.  I had always felt tired, but with looking after a family and keeping my husband’s long hours, I just ignored it.  Diabetes makes you constantly thirsty, and makes you want to wee all the time… this is easy to ignore because you assume it’s a chicken and the egg thing…  But, diabetes was never even mentioned as a possibility. 

I know I must keep myself healthy, exercise, watch what I eat, and keep an eye on my sugar levels.  I do still cheat occasionally but so long as I know when I’ve gone too far as my doctor tells me off!  I am lucky in the fact that I get support from the people I work with and my family.  Although sometimes the constant questioning about whether I have taken my pills really gets on my nerves.  I know it’s just concern but I wish they would back off! I know what will happen if I don’t look after myself.  The stories they told me at the classes I went to when I started taking injections were genuinely concerning.

I am so grateful for that medical.  Being able to make it through a TV show without having to go to the loo is great.  That was the real pain in the arse.

Right, I think I’m done. I have changed everything over to Out Of My Tree. As I mentioned in a comment somewhere I realy wish there was a copy and replace for the entire internet. It would ahve made the transfer of bloginess a hell of a lot easier.

When I made the decision to shut down Camel (which wasn’t as hard as I thought it was going to be) rather than do another redesign, I did consider for the longest time* leaving the blogosphere all together and concentrating on that of most evil things, getting a life.

And then I remembered something.

I already have one.

I have more close relationship’s with people online than I do in the real world. Maybe that is sad and tragic but I am way past the point of giving a crap about what is cool. The friendships I have made through this medium mean so much to me, and the fact that I will probably never meet most of you doesn’t depress me because I believe you don’t need a face to face to feel… y’know?

But that isn’t really what this post is about. It’s about this.

In India a man has married a dog to lift a curse that he believe was placed on him after he beat two other dogs to death.

Yep.

That’s what I said.

He was advised to do this by “an astrologer and others”. You just know that this had to have been an “I wonder if we can get him to do this?” pratical joke dare type thing.

And people think my life has gone to the… no, not even I can complete this sentence.

*about 10 seconds

One of the many things I had wiped out of my mind about living at my parents is the almost total lack of mobile signal here. It doesn’t help, I suppose, having the “worst mobile on the planet” but at the moment every call sounds like ‘the last time she called while crossing the Antartic.’ And I’ve always hated the colour. Always.

Logic tells me to take my brother’s offer of his old phone which is on a network who cares about it’s signal strength but it feels… wrong… You see it’s on O2, the network that has the iPhone. Now, there is NO WAY I am going to get sucked into a jealousy spiral of the 100,000 lucky bastards who got one over the weekend… There is NO WAY I am going to drift into Preston and press my nose up against the glass of the O2 Store… But if I hear ONE MORE chav/towny/child tell their friend/gang member/posse that they are getting one I may have to go on that long awaited killing spree.

On Friday there was a particularly evil moment when a teenager with far too much gel in his hair was telling his mate (who’s earrings were just a little too Beckham) that his Dad was getting him one but that he didn’t really want it. Didn’t see the point! It took all the strength in me not to leap over the seat and throttle the ungrateful little… See, totally sucked in.

No, I shall be saving my hard earned pennies (you know when I get a job) and spending them by buying Leopard… and iLife 08…. oh and iWork 08… and then finding a house to use them in. I have a plan, see? Cool software and then place to live. It’s all working out!

Thanks to the gremlins cause by an unruly plugin there is a slight issue with my RSS feed. It will be fixed shortly… Of course, by the time it is fixed you will either not care because you will have read this on your feedreader (meaning it is fixed) or will have come to the site… Me? Make sense? As if!

Update: Is now working… only took 2 hours to figure out it was the MyBlogLog plugin… Grrrr…

A new blog, a new beginning, a new something else.

I have moved backwards a little and am in fact back exactly where I was five years ago. Mind you the last five years while ‘interesting’ have not exactly been ‘kind’. It’s all change from here on in, d’ya here?!

Some of you will already know me from my old blog which I have since shut down. The search that I was on to find that elusive something in my life will never end but I am not spending all my energy on the hunt anymore. I am entering a new phase in my life where instead of wishing and hoping, dreaming and er… other things, I am doing something about it.

I am pretending that I have turned the clock back five years and am starting this bit again. All the nonsense that has happened to me no longer concerns me. Obviously I am taking the good bits - the things I have learned and the people that bring good things to my life - but I am locking the bad stuff in a box and putting it at the back of the garage to gather dust and/or slowly rot.

Okay, on with the post. Today was Remembrance Sunday. A day in which the country falls neatly into two groups - those who care and those who don’t. I am one of those who definitely do. Although I do not currently have any family members in the forces, there are members who have served our country. I very much support our troops in whatever conflict they have been sent into even if I do not agree with the reasons they have been sent there in the first plce -you know what I mean? I hope.

But, regardless of personal involvement and political views I think we can all pretty much get behind the idea that war is a terrible tragedy, but that the brave men and women who go where they are sent should be given our respect and thanks.

At 11 a.m. the two minutes silence was held and as my brother and I watched the Cenotaph in London drop to a whisper my eyes filled with tears. By the time the two minutes were up they were rolling. I have no idea why and wouldn’t have thought anything more of it had it not happened again when I was standing in front of the far more modest Cenotaph in Kirkham this afternoon for the town’s service. I don’t know if it was the day and the fact that I always get a little emotional at these things or the fact that there has been a stirring of ‘Support the Troops’ here recently, or the cold; but my eyes teared up during the silence and then again during the singing of God Save The Queen… mind you that and Jerusalem will always get me going…

The whole family was there. Dad wearing his Veteran’s pin for his time in the RAF, Mum trying not to freeze and me doing the same, while thinking that even though a suit is always a good idea to show respect, that I really should have been wearing a thick fleece or maybe a snowsuit.

My brother was once again carrying the Union Flag (not Union Jack as I was reminded again today) - no mean feat as this involves parading with it and then holding it upright as still as possible for nigh on 2 hours in rapidly dropping temperatures and gusting winds. But he does it year after year with a smile on his face. He really does rule. The Scout group showed up in greater numbers than ever before and did themselves proud.

The screaming children who are old enough to know better and the woman standing nearby who muttered to her friend through the whole thing annoyed me but there will always be people you want to take a two by four to. There are never enough service sheets and they will come out next year again - out of date and wincing-ly naive, but I was happy to see the slightly larger than the usual handful crowd out in the biting winds.