Okay, was asleep, then I awoke to a bang downstairs, definitely the sound of someone downstairs…  I grabbed my trusty mobile (for it has light) and headed to the head of the stairs.

There’s a shadow.  It looks like someone wringing their hands together in preparation to wring my neck. OhmyGodOhmyGod ohmygodohmygodohmygod…  What the hell am I going to do?   Flicking open my phone and poising my thumb over the 9 ready to dial so the emergency services can hear my screams I gingerly put my foot on the top step.  The shadow definitely moved ohmygodohmygodohmygod – this is it.  I am going to die at the hands of a petty chav thief who got in through the walls.  Back door!  I forgot to lock the back door!!!!!!  I am so stupid – they can put that on my tombstone.  ‘Here lies Bec – she was so stupid’

Foot on the bottom step now, I can hear breathing and a weird thumping sound.  I can hear their heart beating!  Their blood must really be pumping with the promise of my murder.  I’ll put the light on and temporarily blind them before running out the front door and screaming the street down.  Yes!  Plan!  Get a good look at their faces so I can identify them later.  Infallible plan!

Wait! No!  Adam, 22 year old ‘baby’ brother is here – staying over for a couple of days.  Typical this had to happen with company in the house.  If they had come yesterday… You can’t leave him in the house to suffer the same fate.  You can’t wake him either – he has a long day ahead of him!  Okay, turn on light, surprise/blind them and negotiate your life for his or something.

Okay one two three… four five six…

Paralysed.  The shadow looks weird, like he has a third arm and he’s just waving it aound.  A bit like… the… tree outside my window.

Cough…

Locking back door now…

[tags] delusional, not home invasion[/tags]